“I want you to kiss me. If I made you feel like I didn’t, I apologize.”
Riley leans in. I inhale his dark, heady scent and he presses his lips against mine. For the first time in a long time, the numbness inside my body is replaced by hope. He can change my outlook with a kiss. A touch. A misfire. I’m not supposed to be here with this man. I should be in a different country, locked away and drugged—a possession. This is the outcome of Jesse’s doing, and against all odds, he saved me. Again. Some might argue that he doomed me when he took me in off the streets the first time. That I was merely switching one form of servitude for another, but I see it in a unique way because of everything this family has given me. I’m not talking about money, or any earthly possession I could ever desire, I’m talking about a family—people who care for me, care about me, and love me. People who would lay down their lives in my place. Humans that wouldn’t hurt me. A man who I know will always protect me. Lost in his kiss, I get carried away, pressing myself against him.
It’s not until he groans that I realize I’ve taken it further than intended. Gently he pulls away, planting a soft kiss against my neck. “We need more time,” he rasps at my ear. “Maybe later, if you’re feeling up to it.” His exhale is noisy, and he adjusts himself through his slacks.
“Later,” I pant. “Definitely later. I forgot what it feels like to be loved by you.”
He brushes my bottom lip with his thumb. “That’s a crime. Remind me to never let you forget.” He kisses me, grinning so wide that his eyes crinkle.
My returning smile is impossible to control. “I won’t.” I pause, contemplating how my next words might go over. “Bringing this up now might seem in bad taste, but you want me to ask you things.” I swallow. “What are you going to do to Jesse?”
The happiness slips. “What do you think I should do to Jesse?”
“Nothing,” I whisper. “You know I don’t want anything bad to happen to anyone, and I know that’s not the way things work in the family. So, I’m asking what you’re going to do to Jesse, hoping we’ll settle for something in the middle. He didn’t have to go after me.”
Riley masks his emotions, cutting me off.
“I have something fair in mind,” he says. “Something poignant. Something that makes sense given his crimes.” He clears his throat, grabbing my hand, then my wrist, and the bracelet. “As my consort, I’ll take into account your feelings in the matter.” His mouth hardens into a firm line. “But, Drew, just because something is labeled as fair doesn’t mean it will fit your definition. He saved you, and he did have to go after you because I couldn’t. That’s how brotherhood works. I know he had to claim you.” Riley clenches his jaw. “The fact that you’re standing in front of me, and I’m able to kiss your lips is the reason his heart is still beating.” Let it be enough, I think. “I know you have a soft spot for Jesse, but he was using you. He’s damaged, and it’s my fault I thought he could change. I left you unguarded because I trusted him too much.”
I narrow my eyes. “Do you want to change me? Jesse and I are alike.”
He balks. “Of course not. Why would you ask that?”
“Do you only love the idea of what I can become, or do you love me like I am now?”
He stands taller. “I fell in love with you from the first time I saw you. I’m a businessman. A practical man. A man who doesn’t believe in fate. I believe in consequences of action. You, you are what I believe in. Your heart is pure and who you are inside is so divine I didn’t think it would exist. Do I love the idea of what you can become? A fucking Astor Queen? Yes. I love that idea, but Drew, I love you in any form. I love you whole. I love you broken. I love you in every way, in any time, and it will always only be you.” His sunshine beats against me like a wrecking ball. Tears form in my eyes, but happy ones. “You and Jesse may have come from a similar upbringing, but never think you’re alike. He only cares about revenge. He might care for you, but it’s only because of what you can deliver him.”
I close my eyes and lean into Riley. “I’m sorry for not talking to you earlier. I was processing everything.” I turn at the door opening. It’s Reggie carrying in two more huge bouquets.
“There’s no space for these,” he says, eyes apologetic.
“Anywhere is fine, Reggie,” Riley says.
He puts the large pots down on the floor next to a chaise lounge near the window. “You have a call on line four,” Reggie says. “Didn’t mean to interrupt, sir.” He leaves as quickly as he arrived.
I sniffle and wipe my nose on my t-shirt. “Go work. I’ll be fine. Later, you’re mine.”
“We have the video from The Ring,” Riley deadpans. “And all the paperwork from your intake and everything that you went through. I’m sure not everything is detailed, but there’s enough in there to provide you with information and closure. I saw you reading contracts and if you’re reading them, maybe you want everything.” He looks pained. “I couldn’t watch the whole video of the claiming room, but I watched enough. I’ll email everything to you. If you want.”
I nod, even though I want to scream no and completely change the subject. “Dinner tonight? They asked me for a menu for the next few days. I’ll plan something nice if you don’t have any meetings.”
He leans in and kisses me. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
I make my way to the dressing room, inside the closet, when he returns to his desk. He doesn’t follow. I’m glad, because I take my laptop, put on the most beautiful dress I can find, then I open the files he emailed me. He doesn’t come up. He lets me rip open the jagged wound and let it fester alone. I watch the video two times at normal speed, and twice sped up. Then, I read the documents. From the moment I began comprehending reading, I felt like someone intelligent and worthy, but reading what I am now makes me wish I never learned to begin with. I watch the claiming video once more, but this time I cry.
I don’t cry for me; I sob for Jesse. He knows it’s his proverbial or physical end one way or another and goes through with it anyway.
Chapter Twenty
Drew
There’s not a hair out of place, my makeup is perfect, and the blue sequin gown makes me look like royalty. I allowed myself to cry and feel bad, then I put myself back together and remembered who I am. Who I want to be. I slide into a pair of heels and pull my shoulders back.Astor Queen. I am loved.Riley is waiting at the other end of the long dining room table when I enter the chamber. The door locks behind me. Our meals are here and there are intricate centerpieces lining the center of the table with false candles flickering. Never real flame in the mansion. It’s law. Nevertheless, it’s stunning. The attention to detail is unreal as my gaze flicks from one thing to another. Riley stands when I make it to my seat at the other end of the table.
“Sorry I’m late,” I finally manage. “This, this, is stunning. Did you do this?”
“I had some help, but I wanted this to be special. I never had the chance to wine you and dine you. There wasn’t time to make you feel special. Mostly because I fell for you quickly and deeply, but I wanted to take a step back and give you something.” He exhales, fixing his tie. Riley looks devilishly delicious. My god. My throat dries up when I take him in. “It’s not much and I’m not comfortable taking you out yet, but I’m hoping the ambiance covers those tracks.” He hits a button on a small remote and music seeps softly through speakers all around us.
“I dressed for the occasion without knowing,” I admit, brushing the sides of the dress. Thank God we’re on the same page. “It’s beautiful, Riley. Thank you so much.”