He twists my nipple through the gauzy fabric and kisses me softly. “I’d keep you there for the rest of my life if I could, but I’m afraid you’d grow bored of me.”
The wild, passionate, hot sex we’ve had is bar none the best I’ve had in my life. “Riley, I couldn’t get bored of you if you sat in a chair and stared out the window all day.” I clear my throat. “I love you.”
He kisses me again, mouth pressing down on mine. “As I love you.” He groans, pulling away. “But I have to go.”
“Meetings,” I say, exhaling pent-up tension. “Go ahead and leave. I’m headed to sit by the ivy pool to get a bit of sun.” There are four pools at the manse. The one I like the most is one where the wall nearest it is covered in ivy in true fairy tale fashion. The corners of his eyes turn down. “I’ll bring Reggie and whoever Reggie trusts,” I try. He remains wary. “You want me to stay here?” I furrow my brow, trying not to let disappointment show. Our wing is large and has everything I need, but after a taste of freedom outside these walls, I know how beautiful the grounds and this place are, and I want to soak them in. This is the only other place I’ve been since the city and Dirt Downs, and it doesn’t feel real.
“Go to the pool,” he says. “You should enjoy it. Bring Reggie.”
I nod as I go up on my toes to kiss him, soaking in his brand of sunshine. Yesterday, I hung out with PACHA, minus Amy, in my rooms. They told me it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission when it came to the Astors. It’s a cute saying, but I laid awake last night thinking about all the different ways that saying could get me killed by Astor enemies. There’s no forgiveness six feet under. “See you at the chapel,” I joke. “Be there or be square.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he says, scanning his print to leave the room. He jiggles the handle to make sure it’s locked when he leaves. As Reggie and three other security guards flank me as we walk to the pool, I can’t help but think of Jesse. You’d think with the resources our family has he’d be found by now. Men can’t disappear without permission. Jesse isn’t from wealth and power, I remind myself. He’s better equipped to go underground. Is he safe, though? There’s no way of knowing. Reggie grabs my bag from one of the guards when we arrive, he never carries it, so his hands are free. As he extends the bag to me, he says, “Stay on this side of the deck, and don’t let me out of your sight.”
I grin. “It sounds like you shouldn’t let me out of your sight.”
“You’re always in my sight, Drew,” he says.
I told him if he called me ma’am or anything more formal than my first name, I’d tell Riley he was offending me gravely. It was the first time I saw him laugh—saw him act any other way than protective.
“I tell you that because while this is your favorite pool, it also has beach access.”
“You’re saying I should go to the beach,” I counter.
He folds his arms across his chest. “No.”
I laugh. “Fine. Fine. How many guards are down there? Seven hundred?”
“Not enough. Riley is in a meeting and it’s an all-hands-on-deck gathering if you catch my drift.” His gaze drifts to the staircase that leads to the beach. “I need to be higher.” He points to an ivy-coated balcony on the opposite side of where the chair is. “I can see better up there.”
“What’s this meeting about?”
He tilts his head left and right. “Probably you. Making it official so the cartel can’t fuck with him through you. They have laws, but it must be official. You must be his consort. The same as the Astors wouldn’t go after a consort of theirs. It’s a binding truce in crime rings.”
I exhale. “Not all crime rings. Only the ones with money,” I drawl, annoyed. “He’s going through so much for me. I can’t help but feel like a burden.”
“Mr. Astor wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do. It’s not a burden for him. It may be new, as this isn’t something he’s ever done in the past, but he would never burden himself more than he already is by name alone, Drew. Don’t think like that. You’re worth a thousand meetings to secure your protection.”
I swallow the lumping emotions down. I’m not used to anyone speaking kind of me—forcing me to see I’m worthy, so it affects me. More than all the money does, if I’m being honest with myself. I crave kindness. “Thank you, Reggie. You’re the only person I trust to keep me safe when I’m not with them… I mean, him.”
He catches my misstep. “Jesse is going to be fine. He’s always fine.” Reggie looks away as he speaks. “I’d be worried about when he gets back, though.”
There’s no time to ask questions because Reggie walks away, eyes scanning the horizon like a bird of prey seeking a meal. I’m not dumb. It means Jesse is in trouble. My mind immediately lunges for the worst possible scenario. He was behind the attempt on my life at the airport. They finally got the proof they need to pin the crime on him. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sit down on the reclining chair and lay it down so the sun beats down on me, warming my body immediately. I take off the dress after a minute or two because I’m already sweating. I’ll show up to my wedding drenched in sweat, I think. No, I’ll give myself time to go back and shower and change quickly. It feels so good to be outside, though. Who knows the next time I’ll have this opportunity. If what Reggie says is true, I may get my freedom back when I’m officially hisconsort.
The word is strange. I roll it around my mouth and speak it a couple times to taste it. It’s not prostitute. Or hooker, but it’s also not wife, is it? My mind hisses at me. It means the same, though, and I must lean into that. I’ll belong to Riley, and I’ll officially have his last name. It was a wrong assumption to think belonging to him would make me more valuable, I guess. Leave it to the crime world to take away all weaknesses by allowing loved ones to be untouchable. It levels the playing field, making the fight even, I think. Will life always be a fight? The worry coursing through my body will be the norm. Flipping over onto my stomach, I begin thinking about work. My projects. My reading lessons this morning went well, and it finally feels like I’m ahead. I’m able to deconstruct words and recognize phrases.
“I thought that was you,” a female voice says. First, I look up at the woman and realize it’s Riley’s mom. Then I immediately search for Reggie. I’d forgotten about keeping an eye on him, and I feel bad, but he’s there, watching intently, men standing beneath him on the rocky pool deck waiting for any cue.
I scramble up to my feet, suddenly embarrassed by the bikini, by my lazy afternoon, by my literal existence. “Mrs. Astor, I’m sorry, I must have dozed off. Is everything okay?”
“Fine, fine. I got sick of waiting for my husband in that meeting and saw someone down here having more fun than I was. I’m glad it’s you.” As she’s speaking, I slide my dress over my head and straighten my hair the best I can.
“Oh, I’m glad I was here then,” I say, unsure what to talk to her about, given I’ve never been alone with her.
“Take a walk on the beach with me?” Mrs. Astor says.
“Oh,” I say, glancing at Reggie. “I was on orders to stay here because there wasn’t enough security to watch down on the beach.”
She waves off my worry. “Between mine and yours, it will be fine. I heard it’s clear today and you can see all the way down the beach to town.” My heart leaps. I want to see the view. A view I haven’t seen yet. After one more glance at Reggie, I take her hand and follow her down the stairs. When my feet hit the sand, I sigh.