After I had lunch, I decided to lie on the couch for a thirty-minute power nap before I reviewed financial reports and readied them for James. Just as I lay down, my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, it was Dean. What the heck did he want? I considered ignoring it, but curiosity got the best of me.
"Hello?"
"Reyna. How are you?”
I nearly blurted out,What do you care?But instead, I made sure my voice was perky when I said, "I'm good, Dean. Really good. How about you? How's Caryn?” I winced, knowing that bringing up her name would make him think I was still bitter about what happened. It still angered me that they’d betrayed me, but now, with several months out from the incident, I knew that I’d dodged a bullet. In some ways, I had to be grateful to Caryn for helping me see through the haze of fairy tales to the reality of what my marriage to Dean would be like.
"Listen, I know this is late in coming, but I owe you a big apology for what happened. I know I acted like a complete asshole. I guess I was just embarrassed and guilty that I got caught. Instead of groveling like I should have, I acted like a jerk."
I sat on his words for a moment, trying to decide whether they were sincere. Since we weren't on a video call, I didn't have any visual cues to help me decipher the genuineness of his statement. Then again, I couldn't be sure that by seeing his face, I'd be able to tell if he meant his words. After all, he told me he loved me when he hadn't.
I wanted to put Dean behind me, and the best way to do that would be to forgive him and move on. "I appreciate that, Dean. I won't deny that I was hurt and betrayed by you and Caryn." And my parents, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. "I see now that what happened was for the best. You were right. We weren't together for the right reasons."
"Don't say that."
I swore I could hear the sadness in his voice, but maybe it was the petty part of me that wanted him to be crying a river of tears because he couldn't have me anymore.
"We were good together. Despite my behavior, I loved you. I still love you. I'll be honest, when you left, I tried to tell myself, good riddance. But the longer we’ve been apart, the more I know you're the one for me."
My heart did a funny flip-flop in my chest. These were words I'd wanted to hear at one time. I felt a pang of grief at what we lost because of his betrayal. Especially if what he was saying was true. Maybe it would have worked out with us if he hadn’t been so selfish.
"Are you there, Reyna?"
"I'm here.”
"You don't have anything to say to that?"
"I don't know what to say. I'll admit, I like hearing it, but it's too late—"
"It's not too late, Reyna. Nothing's been done in the last few months that can't be undone. We can be together."
I found his statement curious. What did he mean, nothing that’s been done in the last few months? Did that mean he knew I was married? If so, why not just say it? My mother knew, so it seemed likely my father, and therefore Dean's father, also knew. Was that what made Dean realize that he loved me? Now that I was out of reach, he wanted what he couldn’t have?
Maybe there was pressure from his parents and my parents to put things right with me. I shook that thought out of my head. On the recent call, my mother seemed plenty happy about my marriage to James.
Then again, I told her that I didn't plan to bring James to meet them. I wasn't going to let them take advantage of him. So maybe they were putting pressure on Dean, knowing that he and his family would benefit from our marriage.
As I sat knowing mulling this over, confusion grew. Dean and I had been put together in hopes of a marriage because of business, similar to the one I had with James. Except with Dean and me, there hadn’t been a term limit. It wouldn’t have been a marriage for a year to complete a business deal.
But he cheated, I reminded myself. All the hopes and dreams I had thought would be our marriage had been dashed when I found Caryn having sex with him in the room that was supposed to be my honeymoon suite.
"I know I fucked up. I was arrogant and stupid, but I promise you, I've changed. If you could find your way to forgive me, we could start over. This is the perfect day. Valentine’s Day. Did you get my flowers?"
Disappointment filled my chest. The flowers weren’t from James.
“I did.”
“I know flowers don’t fix anything, but it’s a start, right? Can I come see you?”
My stomach turned over, and a wave of nausea consumed me. "I'm sorry, Dean. I've got to go." I hung up the phone, tossing it on the couch, and headed straight to the nearest bathroom where I emptied my stomach of my lunch. I'd never been physically ill because of negative emotions, but neither had I ever been so fatigued from them, either.
When I finally finished and brushed my teeth, I went back to the couch. Picking up my phone, I saw there were messages and texts from Dean. It was rude to ignore them, but I did. Instead, I lay on the couch to rest.
That evening, James arrived home acting as usual, and it hurt. As dumb as it was, I’d hoped he’d remembered Valentine’s Day. I knew any gesture wouldn’t have been out of love and devotion. It would be to show the world a fake marriage. But for him, today was like any day. He didn’t even notice the bouquet of roses from Dean sitting on the table in the kitchen. In a few months, he’d gone from hating the idea of a man seeing me in a bikini to not noticing that a man had sent me flowers. Meanwhile, I was falling for the grump.
“Do you want to order takeout?"
I guess he noticed I hadn’t made anything to eat, hoping we might go out.