“I’dneverforce this with you. I’d never do anything you don’t want me to do. I thought by asking you your opinion on telling Edie, it would have been good for us. That maybe we could have come to some kind of agreement. But all I ended up with was you telling me how I should feel about you while offering me an out at the same time. A-and now I don’t know what to think.”
“Hannah…”
“There are so many feelings I have for you. God, the more I’m with you, the harder I find it to let you go. But I get the impression that you’re trying to push me away. And if you are, if you don’t want to be with me, I’d rather you came out and said it. If this is the point where I have to let you go because I don’t make you happy, then please…be straight with me.”
Caroline sat forward when she noticed a tear slowly slip down Hannah’s cheek. She wanted to reach out and catch it, but Hannah held up a hand.
“I know you’ve been hurt, Caz. But so have I. All I’veeverwanted is someone who takes me and Edie as we are. All I’ve everdreamedabout is waking up with someone who wants me in their life. I thought you were that person,” Hannah paused, running her hands down her thighs as she exhaled a shaky breath. “But whenever I bring up Edie…telling her about us…you shut me down. I-is that a red flag? Should I be concerned?”
Caroline hadn’t expected Hannah to say any of this. She also hadn’t intended to come across that way. But Hannah wasn’t finished.
“Nobody knows about us. You don’t invite me over when Gail or Joy are here, and you won’t meet anyone in my life.” Hannah frowned and then laughed as she nodded. “Ah. I see what’s going on here.”
“W-what?”
“You have no intentions of this getting serious.”
“Whoa, no. You’re wrong.” Caroline scrambled to her feet, the heartache in Hannah’s eyes sending Caroline to her knees in front of her. “Completely wrong.”
Hannah looked down at her, reaching out and cupping her cheek. “You’re going to make someoneveryhappy one day, Caz. If you can just accept your worth, if you can open your heart enough to let people in, I know you’ll find the person for you. And when you do…God, when you do, you’ll realise just how special you are. How beautiful you are inside and out. The past won’t matter because all you will feel is the love. And I wish you could feel that with me, it’s all I’ve wanted since you opened a part of yourself up for me, but we’re on different paths. I see that now.”
The weight of those words stunned Caroline.
Hannah had saidsomeone.
Nother. Notthem.
Just…someone.
“I should get my things together and head off.” Hannah leaned down, pressing her lips to Caroline’s forehead. But she lingered, sniffling as though she was saying goodbye. “Keep the clothes. They look good on you.”
“Hannah, please don’t go…”
“When Kirsty left me, I told myself I’d never be in that position again. I spent three years loving her in every way I possibly could. I thought I knew what I wanted when I was with her. I swore I’d never entertain something serious again. But then I walked through that door and saw you waiting at the bar, and it was as though everything aligned once and for all. The night I met you, I knew you were going to be it for me. Completely. Wholeheartedly. I just knew it. And then there was the part of me that I’d buried away once I knew I was attached to you. The part that didn’t want to put Edie through anymore letdowns or bad mistakes because of me. So telling her about us was a huge deal for me.”
“I never intended for our evening to turn out like this, Hannah. But I’m scared. I’m terrified of giving myself to you completely, only to lose you in the end.”
“Why are you so convinced you’re going to lose me?”
Caroline swallowed. If she had any hopes of Hannah staying, it was time to put her heart on the line.
“Caz?”
“I’m falling in love with you, Hannah.”
The slightest twitch at the corner of Hannah’s mouth was visible, but Caroline needed more of a response. Hannah just wiped fresh tears from her cheeks, though.
“I want nothing more than to come home to you and Edie, sitting down to dinner together, doing all the things a family would do, but I’m so scared to let down every last wall I’ve built…and just enjoy this.”
Hannah lifted both hands, cupping Caroline’s face. “Let us in, Caz. Live for yourself and be happy.”
“What if I fail?”
Hannah shook her head, smiling. “That’s not possible.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because it’s not possible to fail at something that feels so beautiful. And because I’m falling in love with you too. Every last thing about you, Caz.”