Hannah nodded, resting back against the opposite counter. “How do you feel about me telling Edie we’re together?”
Caroline toyed with the hem of the T-shirt she wore, chewing her lip. “Is that a good idea?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I wanted to run it by you first.”
Hannah would never go behind Caroline’s back about something so big. What she thought mattered the most. After all, Caroline was Edie’s teacher, and if she had any doubts, Hannah would let it lie until Caroline felt more comfortable.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” Caroline said, lifting herself back up onto the counter. “I’m not worried about me. I’m worried that the kids at school will find out and make life difficult for Edie. She’s had a bad enough time as it is.”
Hannah’s heart melted. “You really care about her, don’t you?”
“I care about all my students,” Caroline paused. “But yes, I’ve been fond of Edie since she started at St Peter’s. She’s bright, she’s driven, and she’s very caring. I just…worry.”
“Worry?”
“That she’ll find out about us, I’ll mess everything up, and then she’ll hate me for hurting you.” Caroline’s eyes held a genuine fear, but Hannah knew nothing like that would ever happen. Edie didn’t have it in her to hate anyone. “Because you and Edie are what matters to me most right now. I can deal with the secrecy if it means we’re doing the right thing.”
“I don’t see that happening.” Hannah held out a hand, grinning when Caroline tugged her back between her legs. When she showed even just a hint of confidence, Hannah swooned for this woman all over again. And she knew deep down that Caroline Baker was potentially the sexiest woman Hannah had ever laid eyes on. She just needed to search for it a little. “We’ve been dating for eight weeks now, and I see…Ifeelnothing but great things.”
Caroline leaned down, kissing Hannah gently. And then she pulled back, pressing her forehead to Hannah’s. “If you think telling Edie is the right thing to do, then okay. Tell her.”
Hannah frowned. “Of course it’s the right thing to do. We’re together, Caz. I’m happy, and I hope you feel the same way.”
“I…do.”
Hannah took a step back. “But?”
“But I feel as though you’ll be missing out on so much by being tied to me. I’m boring, Hannah. I always will be.”
Shocked, Hannah’s brows rose. Carolinewas notboring.
“And I know you’re only going to tell me that I’m wrong, that you’re happy with how we are, but I find it hard to believe that I sparkanythingexciting inside you, Hannah.”
Hannah couldn’t bear hearing Caroline say these things. God, this woman was everything to her. “How long have you been feeling like this?”
“Most of the time.” Caroline smiled weakly. “I’ve lovedeverysecond we’ve spent together, I hope there can be so many more, but I’m not stupid…and I don’t want you to bring Edie into this unless you’reabsolutelysure about me.”
“I am sure, Caz. Why don’t you believe that?”
Caroline’s intense green eyes stared back at Hannah, a sadness that she never wanted to see sitting in them. “Because things like this don’t happen to me. A gorgeous woman and a lovely kid in tow? It doesn’t happen to people like me. I know what I want, but I’m not sure you do. I’m forty-seven, Hannah. Why would you possibly want to settle down…settlefor…me?”
Hannah’s heart tightened. Whywouldn’tshe want to settle down with Caroline?
“All I’m saying is that I need you to be sure before you tell Edie anything. Don’t tell her about me if there’sanydoubt in your mind.” Caroline slid off the counter, squeezing Hannah’s hand as she stepped away. “I know you’ll do the right thing. Edie is your world; you’d never intentionally hurt her.”
Caroline left the kitchen, but Hannah found herself rooted to the spot, unable to follow her. That woman was quickly becoming everything in Hannah’s eyes, but would telling Caroline that scare her off? Would Caroline even believe her? Hannah knew it could be a risk worth taking, and as she stood here, she knew it was certainly something she had to consider.
* * *
Caroline satlengthways on the couch, chewing her lip as she recalled the conversation she’d had in the kitchen with Hannah. She hadn’t meant to sound so…ridiculous, but her time spent with Hannah lately felt a little overwhelming. Caroline wasn’t the kind of woman who fell for the first person she came across, but with Hannah, oh…with Hannah, she was well on her way there. And that’s where the fear came from. Falling in love for it to not be returned. Getting so deep into something Caroline knew she’d never come back from. Because this? What she felt with Hannah… It was far more intense than Caroline thought it ever could be.
This…was life-changing territory.
But the atmosphere between them as they sat on separate couches felt a little murky. She didn’t want to go through that uncomfortable silence phase with Hannah; she’d spent long enough doing that with Naomi. No, what she wanted was to explain herself in a way that Hannah would understand. She would love nothing more than to have the perfect life with this woman, but Caroline and perfect hadnevergone hand-in-hand. If she hadn’t been through such a dreadful marriage, Caroline would have been head over heels in love by now. She would have been planning a future with Hannah and Edie. But the scars of the past would never truly heal. They may fade on occasion, they may lay dormant during those perfect moments she shared with Hannah, but they’d always be there…somewhere.
“I don’t know what she did to you, Caz. I don’t know whyanyonewould want to hurt you, but I’m not her. I never will be,” Hannah paused as Caroline turned to her. Had Hannah been watching the cogs turning in her head? Probably. “I know being in a relationship must be incredibly difficult for you, to throw the past away and just live for you, but you deserve to be happy. I-I want to be the person you feel happy with, but will you ever allow me that chance?”
Caroline offered a faint smile. She hadn’t meant to upset Hannah earlier, but the hour-long silence was beginning to make sense.