53
***SJ***
I’dfixedwhatIcould in the bathroom, but some things needed more than I had available, like the wine stain and my hurt feelings. I’d straightened myself out, but I couldn’t make myself go back out to the table. I just couldn’t. I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to walk out of the restaurant until it was closed and everyone who’d possibly seen that display was long gone.
I sat on a closed toilet in a locked stall with my head in my hands, debating if it could get more embarrassing if they thought I was pooping and that’s what was taking so long. Having a tit fall out of your bra while being shaken by the hulk was hard to top. Maybe even harder to top was having your older boyfriend’s ex-wife refer to you as a dramatic little girl and cute, in front of said boyfriend.
“SJ?” Sam’s voice rang out in the bathroom. “Where are you?”
I unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Here.”
She stood in front of me and frowned. “What’s going on?”
I gestured toward the table. “Um. Did you miss me getting shaken around like a polaroid picture?”
“Not that. You were off before. I know you, SJ. Something’s going on.” She put her hands on her hips. “Tell me. Now.”
I stood up and flushed the toilet without thinking. Groaning, I shook my head. “I wasn’t pooping. The lid was down.”
“I don’t care about the toilet, SJ. I care about why my best friend is acting like a stranger tonight. You’ve been weird. You’re sad. I can see it all over your face that you want to cry. What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on.”
She jabbed a finger into my shoulder. “You’re lying to me. Something’s happening and it’s big. You’re keeping something from me, SJ.”
I moved past her to get out of the toilet stall and stared at her through the mirror over the sink. “This is your engagement dinner party, Sam. This isn’t about me.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s about me and Mike, but all I can think about is why you’re acting like someone kicked your kitten.”
“Well, stop thinking about me! I’m fine! Don’t I seem fine?” I glared at her in the mirror and then spun around to face her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to give you a mean look. I’m just fine. Okay? Can we just leave it alone?”
Sam shook her head and backed away from me. “You’re keeping secrets.Somethingis wrong. It’s bullshit that you won’t just tell me. I’m your best friend. Also, I’m trying to have a nice dinner party. My parents are getting along great. Everyone’s having fun and celebrating. Except you. If you’re so miserable, maybe you should leave.”
I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t want to leave, that I wasn’t miserable, but my voice caught in my throat. Before I could get anything out, Sam turned and left me in the bathroom. I turned back to the mirror and stared at myself. I guessed I could add shitty friend to the list of things I was that I didn’t like.
After a few more minutes, I pulled myself together and gathered every ounce of strength I had in my entire body. Walking back to the table, I saw Maggie reach over and stroke Barrett’s hand. Jonah, her date, was nowhere in sight. Sam was watching her parents and smiling, like we hadn’t just fought. Dominic and Holden were deep in conversation with Barrett’s parents, but I could feel their eyes following me as I bent down and grabbed my clutch from beside my chair.
Maggie saw me standing and pointed her finger at me like she was tapping a button on a keyboard. “Where are you heading off to so soon? A babysitting job? Are you still doing that, sweetie?”
I’d never wanted a hole to open up under me more in my life. I looked down at my feet and forced my lips into a smile before looking back at Maggie and shaking my head. “No, ma’am. I haven’t done that since I was a kid.”
She let out a high-pitched laugh and when her eyes landed on me again, I knew that she knew. Somehow, some way, I knew she knew that I’d been with Barrett. I could see it in the way she looked me over and her lips turned up just the slightest bit, like she’d caught a whiff of something rotten. It was me, apparently. I was the rotting thing in the room.
“Oh, honey! You’re still just a kid. Look at you. Just adorable. I bet your mom still shops for you.”
A wave of heat crawled down my spine, leaving behind something harder in its wake. I saw Sam whisper something to her mom and then Maggie did a whole fake gasp while making asupersad face.
“Oh, SJ. I’m so sorry for your loss. I had no idea. A young lady needs her mother.” She patted Sam’s hand. “I can’t imagine what kind of woman Sam would’ve turned out to be without me around.”
When I smiled at her that time, it was real. Mostly because I was done with her and wanted her to think she didn’t bother me. “Sammy would’ve always turned out great. It’s just who she is. Thank you for your condolences. The floral arrangement you sent to the funeral a few years back was beautiful. The cake you dropped off after the visitation was a little dry, but that’s probably just because we got to it so late.”
The table was silent, except for Holden’s choked laugh. No one seemed to be sure of what was happening. Because I loved Sam and wasn’t going to blow up her dinner, I kept a bright smile on my face.
“I hate to have to run, but Joey’s death shake reminded me that I told my grandmother I’d help her set up her camera for a video date tonight. She’s got a gentleman caller from Key West and the last time she was late for their date, he’d already wandered into another woman’s chat box.”
I winked at Holden, the only person I didn’t want to run from. “You know how men can be at times. One day, they’re trying to give you their tapioca pudding after bingo and the next, you watch them feed it to Bertha, the hag down the hall.”
Holden stood up, shoulders shaking. “I need to get to a restaurant outside of the city to check on a new chef. Carpool? You can tell me all about this Bertha who’s trying to steal Grandma’s lover. Although, as far as my opinion goes, if Grandma is anything like you, she’s got nothing to worry about. That tapioca pudding is safe, Sugar.”