I bit my lip to keep from begging him to change his mind. I didn’t want to have to make any choice that might come back to haunt me. I wasn’t ready. I’d brought it on myself, though. I’d thrown a fit to get their attention and I’d gotten it. I’d wanted them to prove they still wanted me and they had.
Nodding at me, Dominic forced a smile. “Now, go home. It’s the weekend, Sugar.”
I felt completely numb as I walked across his office and gathered my things. Glancing back at them, I took a deep breath and then hurried out.
When I got to Cindy’s desk, she took one look at me and her face fell. “You’re not quitting, are you?”
I laughed and then groaned when tears filled my eyes. “No, no. I’m sorry. I’m just pmsing, I think.”
She reached into her bottom drawer and pulled out a full-size bag of fun-sized candy. The good kind. “Take the whole thing, sweetheart.”
I shook my head and pushed the candy back to her. “I’m just going to go home and curl up in my bed. Thank you, though. You’re the best, Cindy.”
“Please, promise me you’ll be back next week. These guys need you around here. Whether they admit it or not, I know they’re all crazy about you, honey.”
A sob racked my body and I covered my mouth, mortified. Backing away, I tried to wave off her concern while pushing the button for the elevator. “I’m okay. It’s okay. Sorry!”
Of course, the elevator stopped on the ninth and tenth floor to pick up more of my coworkers, all of whom looked at me in horror and then turned away to give me privacy while I cried like a loser in a packed elevator car. By the time I got home, I’d cried all the tears I could stand and I had a stuffed nose and swollen eyelids to show for it as I climbed the stairs to Grandma’s apartment.
Loud music poured from inside and I let myself in to see her bent forward, shaking her ass. I stared for a second and then started laughing. It was probably hysteria, but once I’d started I had a hard time stopping.
Even when I sat with Grandma on her couch, ignoring herSweating to the Oldiesattire and sweat, I still laughed as I tried to explain the mess I’d made of things. It was only when I got to the day’s latest events that I sobered up and pressed my fingers against my eye sockets.
“Well, I thought you were seeing more than one of those handsome men, but all three is an impressive job, girly. Of course, with genes from me and the ones on your mom’s side, it makes sense. We’ve always been like honey for bears. Men just can’t help themselves.”
I smiled into my arm and shook my head. “What do I do, Gram?”
“Whatever the hell you want to do. It’s modern times, Sugar Jane, or didn’t you know? Women do what they want now. Burn your bra, pierce your ta-tas, shake ‘em like a saltshaker. Honestly, I don’t even know why you’re hesitating. You’ve seen those men, right? In my prime, I would’ve been the queen of that rodeo.”
“Grandma!” I laughed and then leaned into her sweaty hug. She still smelled like her perfume and made the best pillow when I needed comfort. “What if I do this and they decide they don’t want me? Getting dumped by one person was hard. Getting dumped by three? I’d need to be resuscitated, I’m pretty sure.”
“What makes you think you won’t be the one dumping them?” She caught my knowing stare and giggled. “Yeah, you’re right. Why would anyone try to leave those hunks?”
“And Sam?”
“Should be happy that her best friend is happy. And maybe never think about how the sausage is made. You know?”
I groaned. “What if she hates me?”
“You didn’t hate her when she started dating that boy you liked in high school.” Leave it to Grandma to never forget something like that.
“I told her to!”
“She should’ve known better.”
I shook my head and forced myself off the couch. Standing between her and her TV, I rested my hands on my hips and blew out a nervous breath. “I want them, Grandma. All of them. Every part of them. I feel a crushing blow just thinking about not going to them.”
“Then go. Duh. Sometimes, the answer is that easy. Now, go wash your face. And put on a dress. Curl your hair. Oh, do you need a nice bra? I have plenty.”
I hurried to the door and blocked her out before she could offer anything that would scar me. “Bye, Gram! I love you!”
“See you when you’re a woman, sweetheart!” She cackled like she’d made the funniest joke. “Like you’re a virgin? Get it? That’s a good one.”
45
***SJ***
Imanagedtogetout of the house without Dad or Reba seeing me. Not that my outfit was vulgar by most standards, but it wasn’t something I’d ever been able to wear before. If that said anything about it.