I had fire coursing through my veins. “You’re just as boxed in as I am, Rose. You’re just on the inside. You can’t even marry the man you love if you think they might not think he’s perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect! God, what a boring fucking thing to be when you could be so many other things, Rosie.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“Whatever you want! Do you love Anthony?” When she nodded, I threw my hands up. “Okay, then. Marry him.”
“But…”
I held up my hand. “I’m going to find our parents. You want to come with me and make a scene?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m staying in here forever.”
I hugged her tightly. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t do or say anything. Just… breathe. Think about what you want in your life, Rose. Whatyouwant.”
I hurried out of her room and headed down to the restaurant. With four stars, or five upturned noses, I knew it was exactly where my parents would be eating their breakfast. Schmoozing with the nice rich people, like the mayor. The mayor, who’d been invited to Rose’s wedding, despite not knowing her or Anthony.
I spotted them across the room just as Mom spotted me. The host also spotted me and tried to stop me, but I was on a mission. They thought I was embarrassing? They had no idea.
41.
***Violet***
“Ma’am?Ma’am!”The poor host picked the wrong ma’am.
I spun around to face him and found myself nose-to-nose with him. “Look. I’m going to ruin my parents’ day. This is thirty years in the making. You want to get in the way of that, go ahead. I’ve got a lot of anger built up, and I’m feeling like steamrolling someone. Take your chances if you want.”
He held up his hands and backed away. “I don’t get involved in family matters.”
I turned and finished closing in on Mom and Dad. Mom looked like she was frantically trying to grab her purse and get the hell out of there. Dad looked like he was chewing his nails. I pulled a chair from another table, loudly, and sat next to my parents.
“Well, it seems we’ve got a few things to talk about.” I waved my hand as Dad tried to speak. “I let you talk a lot last night, Dad. It’s my turn.”
“Violet, let’s move this—”
“No, Mom, let’s not move this. Let’s talk here. Dad felt no shame giving a speech about hisonedaughter last night. Why wouldthisbe embarrassing after that pathetic display?” I raised my voice as he tried to speak again. “Dad, honestly, you’ve said enough. Practice listening now. It’s something you both should work on.
“Because of the two of you, your good daughter is upstairs right now, sobbing and wanting to call off her wedding. The very idea of you two not thinking something about her life is absolutely perfect is wrecking her mind.”
“You told her?!” Dad’s shout made Mom hush him and grab his arm to get him under control.
“No.Youtold her. She heard you screaming at me last night.” I shuddered. “When it was just me you two were hurting, it was easier for me to accept that it was all my fault. When I was the only person in the family with any kinds of problems, you must’ve been right. I was convinced that I was a monster. Unlovable. I thought the worst things about myself. I would’ve kept thinking them, too, if I hadn’t just watched the perfect twin acting like a freak over your disapproval. I’m not the only one with issues. Rose is screwed up, too. It’s not us. It’syou.
“It’s like the two of you decided to do an experiment to figure out what would happen if you told one twin everything she did was gold, while telling the other that she was dumb and worthless. Guess what? You get two twins who freeze when it comes time to make huge life decisions on their own. You managed to convince me that I didn’t deserve a single good thing in my life, so I ran from every good thing. And you’ve convinced Rose that if something isn’t perfect, it’s somehow wrong.”
Mom covered her mouth with her hand, tears filling her eyes, but I wasn’t ready to care about her tears.
“I’ve spent my life letting you two and the rest of your family bully me. I’ve taken it on the chin and never once let anyone see me cry when the words got to me. When Roy, with a head the size of a buffalo, calls me fat in a roundabout way. When Martha, a real-life troll, acts like I’m too dumb to read a clock. When Sue and Megan, two black widows in the making if I’ve ever seen them, ridicule me for not being able to get a boyfriend. I’ve cried alone, thinking I must deserve it if everyone seems to hate me. Really, it was just because they’re all dicks, and you two set a precedent in our family. You made it okay to hurt me.
“That’s over now. Last night was a setback. I forgot my worth for a while.That’sthe only dumb thing I’ve done lately. Do you know that I have three beautiful men, men who aregoodanddecentmen, who love me? They think the world of me. Honestly, it’s crazy. They love me. They haven’t said it this time around, but I know it. They think I’m worthy of all their love. You may not, but that’s your problem. And as for my ‘shameful business’? The mayor’s wife loves my candles.”
Mom reached out and grabbed my hand. “Oh, Violet.”
I looked between the two of them. “I’m ashamed of you two. I deserved better. Rosie deserves better.”
Dad balled up his napkin and threw it over his food. He stared at me with his unwavering gaze for a few more beats before his face crumpled. Mom sucked in a shaky breath and tried to regain her composure in the face of Dad losing his.
“We have a lot to talk about. A lot.” She rolled her lips inward and then let out a bitter laugh. “Your boyfriend, Ian, told me something similar last night. I thought he was crazy.”
My heart thumped. “He did?”