With eyes full of mischief, she knelt next to me on the ice. “Fine.”
Turning my head, I watched her stretch out on her back next to me. She turned her head to face me and smiled before linking our fingers. My heart thumped like mad in my chest and I smiled back at her.
“Get off the ice! It’s not a bed! You’ll lose your fingers!”
I laughed as a disembodied voice shouted at us. She covered her face with her hands and sat up, staring back down at me with so much happiness in her eyes that I wanted to blurt out everything I felt for her in that moment. Embarrassed, hurting, ridiculed. None of it mattered. I loved her.
“Didn’t you hear me?! I said you’ll lose your fingers!”
Violet climbed to her feet, only slipping once. She held out her hand to me, and I used it to drag her back down on top of me. Kissing her deeply and slowly, I tried to say everything I was too scared to say out loud. When I pulled back, it was just to press my forehead to hers and hold her gaze.
“I’d do this every day for you. You’re worth it.”
She cupped my face and sighed into my lips as we kissed again. “This was better than ice skating.”
Ian’s face appeared over Violet’s head, a crooked grin on his face. “Fun’s over kids. You’re going to get kicked out permanently if the security guard catches up to you. Considering how much fun you just had laughing at Adam, baby, I don’t think you want that.”
Jayden had tears leaking down his face as he showed up next. He was laughing even as he grabbed one of my hands, while Ian took the other, and they both dragged me to the sidelines while Violet easily skated after us. The three of us slipped and tumbled over each other while trying to get off the ice. It was a shitshow, but I could see how great it was watching someone else fall.
“You four! Stop!”
Violet squeaked, and Ian threw her over his shoulder as he sprinted towards the exit. I yanked at my skates, and Jayden dragged me along until I got them off. Then I ran across the snowy parking lot in my socks, laughing harder than I could remember.
It wasn’t until Ian was driving away that Violet let out a wheezing laugh and doubled over in her seat. Her face was blood-red, and she was clutching her stomach when she sat up. Laughing so hard she couldn’t speak, I only made out that she was going to pee herself if she couldn’t stop.
I considered the day a win because we weren’t driving my truck. Any pee would be Ian’s problem.
35.
***Violet***
FromAdam’sbed,Icould see snow falling in a thick blanket. I was stretched out between him and Jayden with my chin on Jayden’s chest. Ian held my hand from Jayden’s other side, gently stroking my wrist. We were all quiet as the morning rose around us. Time had passed by too quickly, and it was now Christmas Eve.
The fire in the corner of the room crackled. Stretched out on a new dog bed on the floor in front of it, John and Demon cuddled. It was peaceful. All of us just fit together so perfectly. I knew the guys had grown close over the past month. They spent their free time together, even if I was busy doing something else. They were friends. The dogs were friends. And I loved them all more than I ever knew was possible.
With Rose’s wedding the next night, a sense of finality hung in the air. When the wedding was over, there’d be no date in the future that we were moving toward. I didn’t know what came next. I’d never imagined we’d end up where we were, but we had, and I didn’t know where to go from there. I knew what I wanted, if life could work perfectly with rainbows and butterflies floating around my head. That wasn’t reality, though.
When it got to be too much, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to imagine I was at the start of December again. I’d do it all over again. And again. Even if I was shattered into a million pieces when it ended, I’d keep doing it. Loving them for even just a month was worth it.
Adam sat up and sighed. “Come here, little rabbit.”
I all but threw myself into his arms. Clinging to him, I breathed him in as deeply as I could. I wanted his scent, the raw source of it, burned into my brain and body forever.
“You’re shaking, Violet.” He stroked my back and held me tighter. “Talk to us, little rabbit.”
I felt the bed shift as Ian and Jayden moved closer. I reached out blindly to grab their hands. I felt like I’d float away if they didn’t keep me in their arms. It’d happened before; I knew it could happen again.
“Jesus, baby, you’re practically vibrating.” Ian pressed his face to my shoulder. “I can feel your heart racing. You’ve got to take a few deep breaths and calm down a bit, baby.”
“I’m not ready!” I sucked in a rough breath and bit down on Adam’s shoulder to stop my teeth from rattling together.
“Not ready for what, Angel?” Jayden stroked my hair away from my face and pressed kisses against my back. “Talk to us.”
“Christmas! I’m not ready. I’m not ready for Christmas.” I tried to curl into myself, every sense of self-preservation in me telling me that I couldn’t move forward, because forward meant an ungodly amount of pain. I just didn’t know how to stay still.
“What?” Ian pressed the back of his hand to my forehead. “No fever.”
Jayden’s kisses had stopped. “You’re upset because tomorrow is Christmas and Rose’s wedding?”