Amber sighs, turning to resume cleaning. “Believe what you want. That’s up to you,” she says, squeezing out the mop. “But I’m warning you: Reed works here because this is where he belongs. Men don’t let anything stop them from getting what they want, and this is the only place in the world where Reed can get his. You’ll see, eventually.”
I want to rage against Amber right now, but I’ve never seen her this riled up. I have to know, “What does that mean? What did he do to you?”
Scrubbing the floor hard, gripping the mop’s handle so tightly it could break, Amber sneers. “He broke me. He gave me hope, and then he took it away. Just like he’ll do to you. It’s what he does to women like us.”
Whoa.
“You mean killers,” I say.
She nods. “Unrepentant ones.”
Wow.
Meek, quiet, fearful Amber. It’s hard to believe she could do something like that. Is it all an act? Or is it because she’s been broken? “Can you tell me about it?”
Amber rubs her shoulder against her cheek, brushing away a tear.
“It happened when I was a sophomore in college. I was dating a guy. Ryan. He was… going to be my first… Like, he seemed really nice for a frat guy. He said all the right things, was super patient with me. He convinced me he didn’t believe the rumors, that he knew I wouldn’t do the things… they said I did.”
“What was that?” I ask. Though my wrists are bound, I find my hands balling into fists, nails digging into my palms.
She laughs, shaking her head. “It was a goddamn joke. I made a stupid joke at a party. The college crew team was there, and they were all super gorgeous. I was hot for them, like every girl there. I was a little drunk and said I’d like to fuck all of them. Everyone thought I was a prude, so it got a lot of laughs. But after that, people remembered it wrong. They claimed I said Ididfuck all of them. I’d been drinking, so who knows? Maybe I really said that — either way, it wasn’t true, obviously. They were all seniors. None of them even knew me.”
“That’s awful.”
Amber nods. “Ryan said so too. I was so happy when he took my virginity. I felt like I’d proved to the world that I was right, and the rumors were all wrong. I thought Ryan would brag about… deflowering me, as guys do, but it would be okay because then everyone would know I wasn’t a slut, or a prude.”
Her face darkens as she finishes mopping up the last of Corbin’s blood, leaving the floor gleaming.
“And he did brag. I was at his frat house to see Ryan one night, and we got to talking about the rumor. Ryan explained to them the whole thing, how it was just a joke, how it got misinterpreted, all of it. I felt so… vindicated. But then Ryan admitted something: that he asked me out because of the rumor, not in spite of it. He and the guys were kinda disappointed when they learned the truth. They liked the idea of sharing me for a night.”
“Fucking hell.”
“Yeah,” says Amber. “I was furious. I stormed out, went to the garage. Ryan followed me. I demanded he drive me back to my dorm. He agreed, so we got into his Hummer, but then he started trying to convince me to stay. I started to say no, but as I did, the other frat guys piled into the car. It was me and the four of them. I screamed at them to get out, I screamed at Ryan that if he didn’t make them go we were done. ‘Chill out, Amber,’ he said. ‘It’ll be fun. We’re just as hot as the crew guys.’ I tried to get out of the car, but they grabbed me.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, blinking away tears of my own.
“For hours they passed me around,” Amber continues, her teeth gritted, her lips trembling with rage. “When I tried to fight them, they held me down or hit me. They took turns, forced me to do everything they wanted. They cheered each other on. They laughed about telling the crew team. It was all so loud, so chaotic. There was a giant vodka bottle in the back, so they got drunk while waiting their turn. At some point, I spaced out. I went to another place. It was too horrible.”
I wish there was something I could say to comfort her, but I’m speechless. What I went through with Lance doesn’t compare to her trauma at all.
“After a while I came back to myself. We were all still in the car. The guys were asleep. I guess all the sex and vodka knocked them out. I knew that was my chance to go. I reached around for my clothes, and as I did, I felt Ryan’s jeans. In his pocket were his keys, so I took them and… I could have just left. I could have taken my chances with the police and reported what happened. If I’d done that, I wouldn’t be here now.”
I give Amber a minute to cry, but I have to know the rest. “Please tell me, what did you do?”
She sniffs, then exhales a deep breath. “I started the car’s ignition. None of them woke up from the noise, they were too drunk. So I took my things and left. I locked the garage door behind me, walked through the house, and out the front. I walked four miles to campus and never looked back. Ryan and the others never woke up. All I did was turn the key.”
Damn. This explains a lot. As far as I’m concerned, Amber was totally justified in doing what she did, but she did kill them. She said it herself. She could have left, but she made a choice.
“I’m so sorry,” I repeat, not wanting to say something inappropriate. “For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing.”
“Yeah, no shit. My only regret is that they didn’t die painfully. And also taking the offer to come here. I should have known it was too good to be true.” She starts pushing the mop bucket out the door to leave.
Before she can go, I say, “Amber, we’re going to escape.”
She stops, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure you think so. Reed had me convinced that if I obeyed and worked hard, my sentence would end and I’d go free. It was a lie, and he knew it. You’ll see — he won’t help you. Whatever you think is going on between you two now, it’s all just part of his game.”
She’s wrong. I know she’s wrong. Reed believes I didn’t kill Lance on purpose.