She didn’t notice when they left. She was thankful she was too busy to see them slip away. She noticed the tip on the bar, and she slid it off, placing it in the tip jar.
By the time Jemma and Darlene arrived to relieve her, Cassidy was worn out, but strangely buzzed.
She remembered Darlene’s words.He’s a sure thing.
From what she’d witnessed, it was true. He never said no. Well, except for that one young woman, but heshouldhave said no then. To mature women, he never said no. When the blonde had extended her hand, his expression had gone from neutral to inviting. She hadn’t had to worry her advance would be rejected.
As she motored home in the twilight, she wondered how he would have responded if she’d answered yes to his question,Are you flirting with me, Day?
Her heart had stopped when he asked her, calling her out. She’d panicked. Of course, she had to deny she was flirting; she was married.
Elijah.
The justifications swirled in her head. Elijah wasn’t here; Mac was a means to an end. She loved Elijah; it would be impossible to love someone like Mac. Elijah was her forever; she’d had her forever, and she would never get that again. She didn’t want it again, not with anyone other than Elijah, and it had been stolen from her. Mac was sex. He was something to jolt her back to the land of the living, to keep her from the comfort of safe, to keep her from the comfort of the darkness.
“Forgive me, baby,” she said, her words lost in the wind.
Chapter fourteen
Cassidy
KARMA
Mac’sshirtwasonher lap, washed and folded. She figured if she was going to return it, she might as well return it to him clean. Now it smelled like laundry detergent instead of him.
She was on her third glass of wine. Darkness had fallen hours ago. Doubts were running through her mind. What if he’d brought a woman back to his place? What if he was asleep? What if he’d decided to go out of town?
When was too soon to go over? When was it too late? She didn’t want to make it appear she’d run over right after she returned from the bar. Of course, he wouldn’t know her schedule.
She didn’t know how to do something like this, to ask someone for sex. Would he know? Would she order like on a menu? This and this, but I amnotdoing that?
According to Darlene, he had a few things he didn’t provide, so it should go both ways, right?
She should have paid more attention to his interactions.
Sex with Elijah had been easy. No drama, not much discussion, just a natural, intensely satisfying occurrence between them and contented cuddling afterward. She smiled sadly at the memory. She’d loved sex with Elijah.
Sex, in general, wasn’t complicated—basic, really. And she was a grown woman. She’d had sex. So had Mac—loads of it. She wasn’t concerned with being compared to his other partners because she wasn’t sure he could tell them apart. She was comforted by the fact that she would be one of many, indistinguishable in his mind—a blur, a blip, a vague memory.
She tossed back the rest of her wine.
No time like the present.
Dressing for the occasion had been easy. She noticed his eyes had lingered on her when she wore her romper, so she chose her green one with a front zipper. Easy off, easy on. Hair: down, shoes: an easy on-off sandal.
Clutching the shirt to herself, she headed toward the sliding glass door. “Jesus, I’m doing this.” Probably not the right person to call on at this moment.
She maneuvered through the trees, not remembering before how well-defined the path had been, but there seemed to be one now. Narrow, but navigable. She was grateful for it and for Fred leading the way. He trotted ahead, excited as usual to be visiting his bestie.
Before she broke through the trees, she could see the light on in the cabin. She was both relieved and panicked. A light off would have given her an excuse to go back. She attempted to detect signs of a visitor, but she couldn’t; no sounds, thank god. There was nothing: no radio, no television, no talking.
Maybe he wasn’t there.
Fred bounded up the stairs and went to the screen, letting out one of his new talking sounds.
Cassidy’s heart seized. When her pulse restarted, she felt it tenfold in her vagina.
Her cheeks were blazing red enough to be a beacon, she was sure, but she climbed the five porch steps. She heard Mac address Fred in surprise and the scraping of a chair. Her feet dragged, her head swam; she was hoping to faint or have a heart attack. Maybe if she swooned into his arms, she wouldn’t have to say anything—he’d justknow.