She followed his gaze. Fred was now staring over the top of his head at Mac. She caressed his chin before returning her attention to Mac, waiting for the rest of his words.
“Then, fuck, there you were.” His dark eyes shifted, drilling into her. “I was goddamn terrified when I realized you were there—to see youstandingthere. The battles I waged in my brain just looking at you, not knowing what I was going to do to you. Knowing what Icoulddo to you.”
Cassidy blushed, remembering what hehaddone to her.
“Wanted to push you as far away from me as possible,” he said roughly.
She understood then he was referring to how that night had ended.
“You were fucking fearless, walking up on that.”
“I wasn’t afraid of you.”
His brows took a dive, concern evident in his eyes. “Wasn’t.”
She looked out at the lake so she wouldn’t have to watch him react. “I lied before. I’m a little afraid of you now. What happened… What you told me about your past with Josie…”
“Cassidy.”
She heard regret; and there it was again: shame. It wasn’t what she wanted or needed, his contrition. She knew he was sorry; sorry for something he didn’t remember doing. She knew that made it worse for him. It wasn’t what she meant to do to him, but she needed to be honest with him—without fear.
She shrugged. “You’re a complicated man.”
He scoffed, shifting further away from her. “Nah, I’m simple. A fuck, remember?”
Her brows descended in a deep frown at his words. It was the wrong answer. She wanted words of comfort, not for him to retreat. But at least she recognized it for what it was: verbally pushing her away. To protect whom?
Her look rebuked him for his words. “There’s something else.”
Mac waited, his hand grasping the back of his neck as he watched.
“Elijah’s book.”
He frowned in confusion.
“The ghostwriter sent me an advanced copy. He told me additional material had been sent to him. The letter from Elijah… He didn’t tell me who, but you’re the only one who could’ve.”
Mac dropped her gaze before admitting, “I’d forgotten about that.”
“That came to me at exactly the time it needed to,” she said. “So, for what it’s worth, don’t ever say to me again that you’re just a fuck.”
He swallowed, his soulful eyes darting up to her, uncertain.
Not knowing what else to say, she shifted, causing Fred to start to struggle to his feet. Both she and Mac helped him up and balance. She said again, “Thank you.”
His eyes roamed over her face; she didn’t know what he was looking for. Well, she did, but she couldn’t give it to him, not tonight. He was lucky she’d admitted her fear; forgiveness was going to take time. But they were okay. “Good night.”
“Night.” He handed her a small bag she hadn’t noticed before. “Meds, antibiotic cream, instructions.”
“Thank you.” She led Fred toward the house, helping him up onto the porch. He was happy to be home. But once inside, she peered through the window to find Mac standing beyond the porch, hands in his pockets, head bowed, his eyes fixed on her. Something was off; it didn’t feel right, leaving him out there.
But she did.
Chapter sixty-four
Cassidy
SIDE PIECE