Didn’t even know if what he’d done was forgivable.
Silas sucked on his teeth, contemplating, before asking, “What happened?”
“I don’t remember anything. Grady told me I hit her.” He grimaced, sat back in the captain’s chair because the thought of his fist making contact with her face made his legs weak and stomach uneasy. “Fred told me I did something worse.”
“Nah,” Silas said. “I’m talking way back.” He shifted in the seat. “Go down to your galley and make me some coffee. Then you’re talking to me, boy. You and me? We’re going to get real acquainted before I tell you how to get back.”
Mac just stared at the old man for a shocked moment, half tempted to throw him overboard. But after a glance around, Mac realized Silas was right; he hadn’t been paying attention. Could he figure it out eventually? Hug the shore until he recognized his home? Yes. But, “Fuck.”
He went below to make coffee.
Chapter fifty-six
Cassidy
GOOSEBUMPS
Thebeginningofthespring had seen her bawling in the Trading Post over an advertisement. Her hope then had been simple: to function, to begin to move on without the feelings of guilt. And then Mac happened and working at the bar—lifewas happening. And with it, more guilt, but she had to admit, she was learning to live with the ache.
Because of Mac. She liked what he did to her. Wanted—needed—more.
Until they’d almost died. Until Fred…She didn’t know what happened to Fred. Every heartbroken day, she grieved him. The vet hospital no longer had him as a patient; was confused that anyone was trying to collect him because he was long gone.Collect him.Those had been the words. She’d collapsed.
The Fourth of July was in a couple of days—true summer—and she’d lived another entire lifetime in just a few months. She’d experienced incredible highs, thrilling sensations, and been brought back to life, only to have it end horrifically. Her faithful and loyal companion was gone.
Was she fated to live a roller coaster of highs and lows? Her lows were out-weighing her highs. And she wasn’t even allowed to hold on to any of the good.
Dressed in a pair of sleep pants and a cami, she padded out to the front room to start the coffee.
Her heart still stuttered when she didn’t seeThe Caseli. This morning, however, she paused mid-stride when she also didn’t see the Viper. All sorts of scenarios went through her head: stolen, sold it, sunk it.
She shouldn’t care.
She didn’t.
Although she was hoping for it to be stolen or sunk.
Pushing back the longer strands of hair on the side of her face, she looked away. At least she wouldn’t have to look at it anymore, having it mock her on two fronts: that he had a boat when hers was destroyed, and everything they’d done on it.
The thrill chasing through her at the memory irritated her. It was inappropriate and wrong, and she hated him.
A concussive explosion rented the air, followed by a rainfall of colorful sparklers in the night sky, heralding the Fourth of July on the lake. Cassidy, Marge, and Silas sat on her outdoor furniture and watched the show. Silas had grilled hotdogs earlier in the evening on a Hibachi grill while Marge and Cassidy had prepared the traditional side dishes.
The bursts continued, vast and beautiful and loud. Warbling shrieks preceded a few missiles upon launch or screamed back toward the earth after their colorful explosions in the sky. Cassidy watched the display. “Fred would have hated this. Elijah and I had to lock him in our bathroom for the fireworks.”
“Dogs aren’t the only ones who find the sounds of explosions disturbing,” Silas said in a low tone.
Cassidy’s heart lurched. She knew who he was talking about. Her gaze dropped from the sky to the woods, to the spot where his cabin was located beyond the trees. She recalled the face paint he’d worn, the screams she’d heard in the night. The sound of fireworks had to resemble a battle zone to someone with PTSD.
When she looked over at Silas, he was staring back at her.
“I need to take a walk,” he said.
Cassidy watched him go. There was a small, human part of her that understood. Not for Mac’s sake, she quickly assured herself, but for the veteran in him that would suffer. She’d feel the same for any veteran.
Glancing over, she found Marge staring at her. Cassidy forced a smile and turned her eyes back to the night sky. But she jumped with every explosion, her ears hearing it differently now.
It was a full-on light show the township put on over the lake. This one lasted twenty minutes with a crescendo of a five-minute finale. Echoes of cheers and appreciation from around the lake could also be heard.