That nonsexual touch shouldn’t have turned me on the way it had, but all I could think about was how gentle he was one minute, and the next he was fucking me like a god of the underworld.
And I knew he could tell how turned on I was. I hadn’t made it a secret as I bit my lip and crossed and uncrossed my legs, hoping to entice him to join the Mile High Club with me. But he didn’t take the bait. I should have been relieved since it wasn’t like he hadn’t fucked me two ways to Sunday already, and I was pleasantly sore all over.
I’d been thrust into this weird sense of an alternate reality, one that I always fantasized about but never thought I could experience myself. And it all seemed to move at light speed that broke the sound barrier.
I’d listened to him bark out orders in English, ones that were violent, and speak about death and gore. I had to be messed up in the head to get wet while Dmitry stared at me as he talked in the calmest voice about cutting out a man’s heart who’d fucked him over.
Before we’d taken off, I’d missed several calls from Gio. I’d ignored them up until take-off, and couldn’t lie and say I wasn't relieved he hadn’t answered.
I knew I’d have to face him eventually, but I was thankful for the small reprieve from having to deal with it now.
A part of me felt guilty for how things had gone down. I didn’t want to worry him, but I also knew he was aware I was with Dmitry. My Russian mobster had confirmed as much the night before.
Gio and Dmitry may have made a deal for an arranged marriage with me, but it was still forbidden for me to be with Dmitry, unchaperoned, before the nuptials.
So no doubt Gio was pissed about that on top of everything else.
But I couldn’t find it in me to care about my brother’s rules with the Cosa Nostra and its archaic traditions.
There was this thunderous storm cloud in me just waiting to open up and flood everything.
I glanced over at Dmitry, who sat quietly beside me in the SUV. I worried on my bottom lip as I continued to stare at him, knowing I should be asking a million different questions, but somehow nothing spilled out.
My phone pinged with an incoming text, and I reached into my pocket to grab it. A small smile curved my mouth when I saw it was from Amara.
Amara
Nikolai told me everything that’s going on. Are you okay?
I should have known she’d been told everything. I was relieved.
Claudia
I’m fine. I promise.
Amara
Gio is an ass. I don’t think I’ve been this upset with him before.
Another smile touched my mouth, and a familiar warmth filled my chest. Amara might only be five years older than me, but she’d acted like a mother far more than our own ever had.
Claudia
No. He did everything he could to help me out of a shitty situation the first time. And to be totally honest…
I stared at my phone, wondering if I should tell her I was in love with Dmitry and this was what I’d wanted for way too long. I wanted to look in her eyes and tell her I was pretty sure I’d been in love with him since that first letter I sent all those years ago.
I cast a sly glance at Dmitry, knowing being tired wasn’t just about my mental well-being and a lot to do with the three times Dmitry had fucked me last night.
Claudia
I know how things are in our world.
I left it at that, not wanting to tell my sister something so profound over text.
I thought back to how I’d acted when I spoke with my brother. Not my finest moment with Gio, and I could have handled things differently.
Amara
Everything will work out. I’m not about to have you thrust into something you don’t want. I don’t care who it’s with.
Claudia
We’ll talk soon.
I sent off that last text before I slipped the phone into my pocket and rested my head back on the seat. I felt the heavy weight of Dmitry’s stare on me and let my head loll to the side so I could look at him.
Dmitry wore this closed-off expression, but like he always had when he looked at me, there was this softness in his eyes and a steady burn of embers in the blue depths.
“Ty takaya krasivaya. Inogda mne bolno smotret na tebya.” You’re so beautiful. It’s hurts my heart to look at you sometimes. He touched my cheek and I shivered. “Ya ne zasluzhivayu tebya, no chert vozmi, yesli ya otpushchu tebya.” I don’t deserve you, but fuck if I’ll let you go.
The light from the late morning sun wasn’t able to soften the hard edges of him. Darkness loved Dmitry too much.