But I couldn’t even leave the house alone. If I was lucky enough to have Gio with me, I could at least have a bit more freedom than if guarded by a chaperone. Gio at least let me wander the stores without being glued to my side.
But at twenty-one, Gio was being trained to take over after my father either stepped down or was murdered. And because of that, I was seeing him less and less.
I already felt so alone, suffocating under my father’s control.
I closed my eyes and exhaled. There would be no leaving. Running away was always on my mind. But where would I go? What money would I use to survive? I couldn’t run and hide with Amara.
I wouldn’t put her in danger.
In reality, running away was just a dream. I saw my life flash before me as my father married me off to a cruel man. I’d be beaten, used, and raped until I produced an heir.
Maybe after the latter, my husband would give me a reprieve and let me be.
Maybe that’s why I was so disobedient. Talking back and not caring that my father slapped me, cursed at me, and told me I was a worthless daughter.
Because in the end it didn’t matter if I got upset. It didn’t matter if I was sad or hurt. Nothing would change. My life was already written in the books.
I didn’t know how long I stood in the bathroom, but it was long enough that I was sure a few songs had been played. I knew nobody would miss me, probably not even realizing I was gone. I finally straightened, about to go back out there, when someone knocked on the door to use the facilities.
I left, ducking my head to use the long fall of my hair as a sort of shield, but not going back toward the reception hall.
I passed a few staff members bustling past me with trays in their hands. I wondered if they knew they were serving criminals and killers. I wondered if they knew how dangerous the men just down the hall really were.
Although I didn't have a chaperone with me, a guard was always with me. I wasn’t a fool in not knowing my father’s men surrounded this facility, that they were in the shadows, weapons strapped to their sides, fingers ready to pull the trigger.
But I took this small moment of independence in stride. As I moved down the hallway, the plush carpet under my high heels silencing my steps, I was lost in thought as I rounded the corner. The deep, rough voice of my brother-in-law coming from the other end of the hallway had my pulse pounding harder.
I moved forward, stopping before it rounded once more, and looked around the corner. I saw Nikolai standing in front of my sister’s guard, Edoardo. At a distance it might seem as if Amara’s new husband was just having a conversation with Edoardo. But the atmosphere was charged. It felt dangerous.
I could feel the volatile energy snaking its way down the hall and wrapping itself around me.
Time seemed to slow as I watched Nikolai pull out a gun and shoot Edoardo right in the head, splattering blood all over Amara’s wedding dress.
My sister stood there in shock, eyes wide, lips parted as her security guard dropped to the ground, a corpse at her feet. My mouth cracked open, a scream welling in my throat but refusing to escape.
And then I felt a hand curl around my arm.
“Come on, detka. You don’t need to see this.”
I heard the voice, but it was distant, as if I were treading water. I let myself get pulled away because I felt like I was in such a haze, watching someone get murdered right in front of me.
My vision was blurry, and I tried to blink it back into focus, wondering if I was going blind. It was only when I realized I was outside, fairy lights from landscaped gardens creating this golden glow all around me, that I found the energy to suck in a great lungful of air.
Dmitry stared at me with an unreadable expression, like that one and only time we’d met. He was so tall and imposing, big and frightening that I took a step back.
“I won’t hurt you, malyshka.”
“What does that word mean?”
He was silent for a long time, then faced forward and stared out at the grounds. “It means ‘little one.’ It’s a term of endearment.”
I didn't know how that made me feel, but for just a second I wasn’t thinking about all the bad things happening. I even smiled a little.
“I don’t know why I'm surprised, why it shocked me so much,” I murmured. I knew violence and blood ran through their veins. It was as if it were a lifesaving entity to them.