That should have had a shitload of red flags flaring in me.
Instead I felt this warmth settle within me.
He was all I wanted. For years. He’d been the only man to make me feel… anything. Desire. Fear. Curiosity. All of it.
Even when I’d been too young to know what need and want for another human truly was, Dmitry had fascinated me.
And as I grew older, my feelings for him had gone deeper, like the roots of a tree burrowing into the earth.
He’d made his intentions pretty damn clear. Was I okay with that?
His intensity scared me. His possessiveness turned me on.
But if I truly didn’t want this—with him—I knew I could call Gio. He’d get me out. He’d make it so Dmitry left me alone.
Would he, though? that little voice whispered.
If he was anything like Gio, nothing and no one could deter him from what he wanted.
But wasn’t this what I’d been wanting for years? For Dimitri to notice me, to touch me the way he had in the garden, for him to say the things he had?
Hadn’t I told myself I’d never get involved with a man who ran in the social circles that I’d always been a part of? Wicked men. Dangerous and violent ones. That’s exactly who and what Dmitry Petrov was.
He was just a different branch of that savagery.
The circular cobblestone patio with two wrought-iron benches was where I normally went to work on my studies and “pray.”
At least that’s what the nuns wanted me to do while I was out there.
Usually I just sat there and enjoyed the peace, pretending I wasn’t who I was and my family wasn’t connected to what they were.
But my thoughts always strayed to Dmitry.
I glanced down at where the gold tooth and ring lay. I knew what they represented. Fredo was dead, and these trinkets were Dmitry’s way of proving to me he’d taken care of the problem.
That he’d protected me.
Oh God. I was in deep.
I closed my eyes and breathed out.
I realized my mistake had been divulging too much information in the letters. I shouldn’t have said anything. But I also couldn’t deny that a thrill went through me at the thought of Dmitry going as far as he had because Fredo had insulted me and touched my hair.
I knew how deep symbolism was embedded in our world.
The tooth because Fredo had used his mouth to say crude things to me. His pinky ring because it had been attached to a finger that touched me.
I was at least thankful Dmitry didn’t send me Fredo’s hand and tongue instead.
I was confused, a little terrified, but underneath all of that, I felt this anticipation. It was like it had been simmering inside of me for years. It was now bubbling over, and I was experiencing what genuine excitement felt like.
It was all kinds of messed up. I knew that without a doubt. I shouldn’t feel anything but disgust and terror when I thought about men like Dmitry, the leader of the Bratva in Desolation who’d, without a doubt, done heinous shit.
He wouldn’t have a gentle bone in his body.
But his touches had been soft and passionate, even if I felt the barely leashed, territorial possessiveness.
I needed to figure out what exactly was going on. I needed to understand what exactly he wanted from me. That would have to wait until tomorrow. And I knew he’d find me. No matter where I was, Dmitry would know exactly how to find me.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind he wasn’t close by, watching me this very moment, even if I couldn’t see him.
I walked over and picked up the ring and tooth, biting my lip as I placed them back in the box.
A shiver raced through my body at the mere thought of Dmitry, of what he’d done to Fredo, of how much he’d hurt him. And I knew he had… so much.
That shouldn’t have turned me on the way it did.
I had to find out what was going on and what he wanted.
I knew what I wanted, and that was Dmitry. All of him.
The good. The bad. All of it.
I’d known that’s what I wanted for years, even if I never voiced it. But I worried once I found out his true motives, once I heard all he wanted from me was a warm body to give him pleasure, my heart would never be the same.
So I needed to find that out, because the last thing I’d be was a man’s fuck toy, even if that man was the only one I’d ever wanted.
Chapter 31
Dmitry
“Are you fucking serious?”
I could hear the shock and anger in Gio’s voice as I pressed the phone harder to my ear and ground my teeth.
I didn’t understand why he was so fucking surprised. Plans like this were made within our organizations all the time. Had been for centuries.