It’s strange when you have one of those moments where you step back from something you’ve been squinting at and trying to figure out but coming up short. Then when you take another look from farther away or at a different angle everything starts to make sense.
When Raegan and I walk back into the living room, I sit down next to Corbin again and this time I don’t make sure there’s any distance. I’ve been an ass and I’m not going to pretend otherwise. He looks surprised and pleased but continues to keep everything respectful.
I gotta admire his dedication. I know later it’ll be directed at me and my pleasure. That knowledge makes me shiver even though I am far from cold. I swear I catch Corbin smirking from the corner of my eye.
CHAPTER 8
CORBIN
I’m stewing in my own fucking mad and I know Justice is fully aware of why I’m pissed. She’s been shooting me uneasy glances the entire ride back to her place. I can’t blame her because there must be steam coming out of my ears at this point.
I understand, really, I do, why she didn’t want to tell her family about our mission to get Justice pregnant. It’s not exactly polite dinner conversation to say you’re trying to rent out a womb for 40 weeks right before you ask for someone to pass the ham because you want seconds.
We didn’t have to tell them about the baby making, but I hate that she wanted to keep what we are to each other, what we’ve become, from them. I know the Torres family and they would have embraced us. Well, maybe not Hale because the dude is seriously protective. He would have come around though and everyone else would have been all smiles.
Instead, they just looked at me like they always do. The friend. The one who is at her side and that it’s adorable how we’ve been friends for so long. Mrs. Torres even asked Justice if she was dating at some point, and I swear I clamped my jaw shut so hard I almost broke a fucking tooth.
It took everything in me to keep up the charade. The lie. Part of me twisted up on itself and the bitter and dark thoughts almost overtook the joy of the twinkling lights and the brightly wrapped paper. I don’t like the feelings I had and the inadequacy which threatened me.
I’m not proud of it and I sure as hell don’t like being mad at Justice. That feeling has my soul twisting the other way.
But then I thought about the way her eyes got all big and round as she opened the presents I got her this morning. She looked at the books about pregnancy with wonder. Her eyes became huge when she opened the simple baby book which can hold all the milestones and thoughts we’ll have when she’s pregnant with our child.
Maybe she doesn’t understand and she’s still holding herself back. I haven’t told her I love her. I’ve been holding back too. I sigh and glance over at the way she’s holding her hands on her lap. She’s told me she’s afraid of all this going to shit and I’m being an ass now.
Before she asked me to be the father of her child and everything came into focus, we had always been one thing to each other. I didn’t realize we could be everything to each other. Now I do and I need to step the fuck up to make sure she understands I’m not going anywhere.
By the time we make it into her apartment, I’ve cooled down even though the bitter taste in my mouth remains. It’s hard to swallow that we’ve spent the last few weeks being so much more than we ever were before and there is still a divide between us.
The door closing behind us has me reaching out for her and pulling her into my chest. The way her shoulders relax when she burrows into my chest makes my heart feel lighter than it has since she asked me to hide what we are to each other in front of her family.
“Raegan knows something is going on between us,” she mutters.
“Are you,” I clear my throat when my voice cracks and I try again, “are you okay with that?”
She nods and looks up at me slowly, her chin against my chest. The way she looks into my eyes, the way she studies me, has my heart pounding. Can she feel it? Can she hear it?
“I’m okay with it. She made me realize I hurt you with wanting to hide.”
I reach up and cup her face in my hands and take a small step back so I can look at her better. The sincerity in her eyes makes me want to fall to my knees, but I somehow stay upright. When our lips meet, we both sigh.
It feels like coming home.
I scoop her up in my arms and carry her to the bedroom to lay her out on the bed. We’re both frantic as we take each other’s clothes off. When she sits up and her hands skate over my chest, I shudder with the pleasure her touch gives me.
It amazes me sometimes that this woman was right in front of me, and I didn’t see it. I wish I had. Could we have been happy for years? Would we have imploded because we weren’t ready?
It doesn’t matter, not really, because we’re here now. I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that we needed life to lead us to this place. For me to be able to see her. For her to be able to accept what I’m offering her.
I grip her dark hair at the nape of her neck and look down at her. “The last few weeks have been the best of my life, Justice,” my voice is dripping with sincerity and her eyes go all soft and glassy.
When I kiss her, it starts out soft and sweet, but it quickly becomes hot and heavy. As my tongue sweeps into her mouth, I make sure to explore her thoroughly. I want to kiss her so well that she can’t think of anything beyond the way I make her feel.
I lay her down gently on the bed, following her down and draping my body over hers. I’ve put her in so many positions since the first time we were together, but this one is my favorite. It’s not necessarily creative, but there is something about it which satisfies the primal part of me. I cover her. I protect her. I make her feel every bit of me.
I’m not going to say the view of her riding me isn’t amazing, it is, but I love fucking her into the mattress and making her feel every single inch of me.
“Corbin,” she moans as I kiss and lick down her neck.