“Guess you like dick,” he said later, when our breathing had settled and I’d managed to peel my eyes open again. The release had left them squeezed closed as I rode out the most intense waves of pleasure I’d ever felt.
I chuckled. “Yeah. Safe to say, I’m a convert. It’s dick for me.”
He threw an arm over me and pulled me against him, his little spoon. “Good. Because fucking you’s my new favorite pastime.”
I was good with that. Really good with that. Sex with Jackson both blew my mind and put a great deal of my life into perspective. Why I preferred homework to Katey Pulaska, for one thing.
“Did you mean it?” I asked him out of context.
“That fucking you’s my new favorite pastime? You bet.”
“No. About not holding back anymore.”
“I did.” His arm tightened over my chest. “We both knew we were holding back, there at the start. We’d just met. I’d intended to keep that up for a good, long while. Self-defense. I didn’t want to give you my heart if you were just going to shit on it.”
I nodded. “Makes sense. I’m a lousy heart-shitter, though, just so you know.”
“Not words I expected to hear today, but I appreciate the sentiment.” He sounded amused, then sobered. “Every day, you did something that made me try to love you. Every. Damn. Day. And then I’d find myself trusting you, wanting to hand you the keys tomeand say, ‘Come on in.’ I wouldn’t let myself. It seemed stupid. Like your high school students, falling in love in the hallways.”
“Which does happen every day, and usually has a half-life of about twelve hours.”
“Who the fuck talks about love in terms of half-life?”
“Nerds. Nerds talk about love in half-life.”
“Thank you for saying it. Saves me the trouble.” He nipped my ear. “I can’t keep myself from loving you anymore, Bastian. That’s a fight I’m going to lose. And I don’t want to. I want to be yours. I want you to be mine. We’re married. I want tobemarried.”
I nestled back against him. “So do I. Though I was worried tonight, not going to lie.”
“I- Tonight, I heard all those rumors and I wondered, ‘These people know something I don’t. Maybe they see something I don’t between us. Am I an idiot for loving this man?’” His breath gusted against my ear as he sighed. “Then you stormed up there like a man on a mission. You stood in front of everyone and you laid your soul out for them to see, all so you could tell me you loved me. So you couldprotectme. No one I’ve ever been with has done that.”
I had to crook my neck around to look over my shoulder. “What the hell?”
He looked a little sad. “I was always the protector. Big bad soldier, there to kick ass and take names. They all looked tomefor protection. Not you. You got up in front of a whole room and you told them to fuck off because I was the man you love. I’m never gonna forget that, Bastian. You’re the bravest man I have ever met, and trust me. I’ve met some brave motherfuckers.”
It was a stretch, but I managed to lean my face in to kiss him. “I will always have your back, Jackson.Always.”
He stroked his nose against mine. “I know. Sometimes, I forget, because the past is big and it blocks my view of the truth. But deep down, I know it. I just don’t understand why.”
“Why what?”
“Why a man like you would love a man like me.”
“I wonder the same thing. Why would a soldier with a career on a meteoric rise, whose family has both wealth and success, want a failure like me?”
The words had the effect I hoped they would. His eyes narrowed. “More like, why would a fancy rich boy want a hick from Wyoming? Or why would a scientist with degrees and brains want a ground pounder with red dirt on his boots.”
I let the smile play on my lips. “Maybe someday, we’ll see ourselves like we see each other. You’ll see a strong, loyal soldier with a big, brave heart. I’ll see a scientist and teacher with potential in front of him instead of failures behind him. That’s the calling of true mates, I think. To share their vision of each other and remind their lover of what theyreallyare, instead of the harsh view we take of ourselves.”
“You’re too good for me. But I’m not gonna give you back,” Jackson said. “In fact, I think I’ll spend more time reminding you what bastard got lucky enough to catch you.”
His cock rose between my legs. I gasped as it nudged against me, seeking the warm, tight place Jackson wanted it to go. My own cock sprung to life, because Jackson is a terrible influence on it.
“I seem to have forgotten,” I said in my most sultry tone. “Whose am I, again?”
I heard his hand slap against the plastic bottle of lubricant and laughed. We had all weekend to make up for my college shortcomings and years of denial about my sexuality. I’d have to teach class from my chair on Monday – and I looked forward to doing it. Walking is overrated anyway.
20DRUMS OF WAR