“But why? After yesterday …”
“That was something I wanted to do. If I end up getting in a situation where I have to explain that I was with a man intimately, I’ll take responsibility for it. But I will not marry you because you feel guilty that you …compromisedme.” Dorothy said ‘compromise’ with a sneer, which seemed to make Lucas flinch. “I never wanted to be forced into marriage, which was why I objected to our match before, and I’m not going to be forced now.”
“Dorothy …”
“No, Lucas. I don’t want to hear it.” Dorothy held up a hand as he started to protest. “If you think this is what I want after we lay together, you don’t know me. I’ll deal with it if I ever do become pregnant, but I’m not about to marry after I made love to a man once.”
Lucas looked stunned. Did he actually think that she would agree to this? He had to be insane.
“But … that’s not why I’m proposing at all.”
Dorothy snorted.
“Don’t lie to me. That’s exactly why you’re proposing. And if we do, and I don’t end up pregnant? It will have been a waste of time for everyone, and we’ll be stuck together for good.”
“You make that sound like a bad thing.”
“Isn’t it?” Dorothy snapped. “You’ll regret it for the rest of your life once it’s clear I’m not carrying your baby, and you married me for nothing. Just like I’ll regret marrying someone I can’t trust.”
Lucas stared at her, clearly confused by her reaction. His mouth opened and closed, spluttering over his words.
“You … I wasn’t expecting you to reject me.”
“Yes, I will reject you. Because I’m not about to become a dirty little secret because you’ve seen me naked when you shouldn’t.” Dorothy could feel her cheeks getting hot with that, but she didn’t look away from him. “You don’t need to worry about me demanding that we get married because of what we did. I’m not about to do that.”
“I told you that I wasn’t doing it for that reason, though!”
“You can say that all you want, but it won’t change anything. It’ll be hanging over our heads.” Dorothy realised she was holding on to her parasol too tightly and loosened her grip. Her knuckles were starting to hurt. “I said I wanted to marry someone who knows me and considers my feelings. Someone I can trust. And I can’t trust you.”
“What?”
It hurt to say it. Dorothy swallowed back the lump in her throat, but it wouldn’t go away.
“I can’t trust you. You didn’t want us to marry before, and you successfully stopped that. Now you’ve taken what you wanted, what’s to stop you from regretting your decision? I don’t want to be married to someone who regrets what they did.”
Lucas shook his head, still looking stunned.
“But I would never regret it,” he whispered.
Dorothy wanted to believe him; she really did. And she couldn’t. She felt the tears forming and blinked them back furiously.
“You would,” she croaked. “We both knew that you would. I don’t want to be a guilty secret for you.”
“Won’t you at least try for me?”
“Try? Did you seriously just say I should try?” Dorothy couldn’t help laughing, but she felt no mirth in it. “How can we try at being married? I can’t divorce you if it doesn’t work out, you know! How am I supposed to try marriage?”
Lucas winced and looked at the ground.
“That came out wrong.”
“It certainly did. This isn’t going to happen, Lucas. You and I are not meant to be together.” Dorothy stepped away. “I apologise, My Lord, but I will not become your wife.”
“Dorothy …”
Lucas started towards her, but Dorothy held up a hand.
“No. Don’t. I’ve made my decision. If you want me to marry you because you’re guilty you didn’t take the proper precautions, then I’m not having it. I won’t.” She didn’t look at him as she turned away. “You may see yourself out, Lord Dashwood. Good day.”