“I apologise, Dorothy,” he murmured. “I … I thought things were good between us. Even with Burville getting in the way.”
“I told you there is nothing between myself and Gabriel. I don’t like him in that way.”
“Then why did you allow him to stay around us? Why did you court him?”
Dorothy huffed.
“I wasn’t courting him. I thought I was meeting a friend. Until Gabriel told me what it really was yesterday, I thought he was doing the same thing. Besides,” she hesitated, “I didn’t trust myself around you. I needed something to keep me grounded.”
“You didn’t trust yourself? Why?”
Dorothy swallowed, and something passed across her eyes. She glanced away. Lucas didn’t like seeing her like this. Unfolding his arms, he touched her arm, feeling her flinch under his hand. But she didn’t pull away.
“I don’t trust myself around you, either.”
“What?” Dorothy started. Now she was openly staring at him. “What are you talking about?”
“When it came to you, I knew you were different. I realise that now. Taking you to bed seemed like the most natural thing to do. As far as I’m concerned, you’re different from everyone else.”
Because I love you. Why can’t I say it?
“Dorothy,” Lucas glanced towards the terrace. Lady Bedford was distracted by Frederica and Pierce for now. “Will you do the honour of becoming my wife? Will we finally follow through on what was wanted of us a year ago?”
Chapter 19
For a moment, Dorothy wasn’t even sure she had heard him correctly. The words were floating around her head, but every time she tried to grab onto them, they flew away. Had Lucas just proposed marriage to her? Or was she hearing things?
She shook herself.
“Would … what did you say?”
“I’m asking you to marry me, Dorothy. It’s not that difficult.”
“Speak for yourself.” Dorothy stepped away from him. Having Lucas touch her, even innocently, distracted her from what was happening. “Why would you propose marriage to me? What is possessing you to ask me to marry you?”
Lucas looked sheepish. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.
“I’m a gentleman, Dorothy. Whether you believe it or not, that’s what I am. And I’ve never compromised a lady in bed before. What we did … I’ve never done that with anyone else.”
Dorothy’s mouth went dry.
“So … so you’re proposing marriage because it’s the right thing to do after what we did.”
“What if you end up pregnant? Your reputation is going to be ruined. I ruined that for you, so I should do the right thing and protect you from that.”
Dorothy felt like she had been slapped hard. He was only proposing to her because of the day before. This wasn’t because he wanted her on his own. Propriety was driving him to do this. From the awkward expression on his face, it was clearly that.
Her chest tightened, and Dorothy felt her confidence completely leave her. Now she felt empty and lost. It scared her. How could he do that after everything? He had to know that this proposal was probably the worst possible thing to say to her.
She shook her head.
“No.”
Lucas blinked.
“What?”
“Absolutely not. I’m absolutely not going to marry you.”