I have to keep going back if I want all the answers. I won't let them get away with this. They are nothing but crooks who deserve to be in prison alongside Javier. I'll need to prove it though and with time, working closely with each one, I will. While searching for the bad guys, I was always looking everywhere but right in front of my face.
More than sure I spot something moving in the corner, I quickly flip on the lamp that’s beside me, pressing my back to the headboard. Laughing at myself, I bring my hand to my chest, shaking my head at how ridiculous I'm being. Nothing’s there.
The only thing sitting in the corner is an empty chair holding a throw pillow. My eyes circle around the room as I slowly get to my feet. I'm moving better after having most of my energy back, no longer too exhausted and weak to stand. My physical health is improving but I wish I could say the same for everything else.
I jump at the sound of every door opening and when it's too quiet, I swear I hear Ignacio screaming. I can't sleep. In the hospital, the only way I was able to was either with the help of pills or having Ignacio there. Seeing him safe beside me brought comfort and reassurance for so many days, and now I have to go without knowing if he's okay or not.
I reach for my phone, not sure what I'm even doing. I don't know his number or anyone who would, except…no. I can't ask her. She’ll have too many questions for me and I doubt I'll get the answer I need, anyway. She’ll ask why I’m calling and what’s wrong with me. I won’t be able to tell her without knowing myself.
I'm unsettled, confused, and lost, and the only way I feel a little relief is when I picture Ignacio's smiling face. The smell of his hair remains in my nose, along with the weight of his body on mine. It grounded me when I thought I was slipping away from myself. Now I'm separating from earth again, and eventually I'll go so far, I won't be able to find my way back down.
Even if I explain this to her, she won’t understand. She'll think I've lost my mind. Would she be wrong? The more I think about it, the crazier it sounds.
Tossing my phone back on the nightstand, I walk into the bathroom. The counter is covered in my cologne, lotion, face wash, toothbrush, comb, and my pain pills. When I got here, my brother had everything waiting for me. He kept up with the payments on my house, car, and other bills. He believed I'd come back and held on to hope. I'm glad someone did.
Lennon never saw me in the hospital, only coming by to pick me up when I was discharged, and on the way here, he barely spoke a word to me and couldn't even meet my eyes when he walked me to the door. Like he's avoiding talking about what happened. I guess he isn't ready to tell me he found my replacement so soon after I disappeared and called my brother to come and clean out my desk a week ago. Supposedly I'll be offered a new one in an office I need to share now.
I was only gone for a little over a month. Why give up so soon? I understand life must go on but to do it so quickly like nothing…
I arrived at my brother's house with a few of my co-workers waiting for me and the guest room covered in flowers. Get well cards and artwork covered the walls and doors the way Ignacio said they would.
Some had Christmas trees and snowmen drawn inside. I haven't exactly been feeling in the holiday spirit, no matter how festive my brother has it inside and outside the house. He's even making me decorate the tree with him tomorrow the way we used to. I think he feels guilty for not spending much time with the family around the holidays the last two years. I'm in for it now. It's going to be a long five days.
I splash water on my face, hating how dry and tight my skin feels. My clothes are so heavy and irritating I strip out of them and climb in the bed, not getting under the covers. I thought I could come back and return to how things used to be but it all feels too much like a distant memory.
A knock comes to my door and I don't move, clearing my throat. “Yeah?”
“Everything okay in there? I saw your light turn on and heard the water running, so I wanted to check on you.”
“Yeah, I'm fine. Was needing water for my pills,” I lie. “Woke up from the pain but I'm okay now. Go back to sleep and stop worrying about me.”
He chuckles on the other side of the door, his weight still pressed to it. “Okay. I'm across the way if you need me.”
“I know. I'm not some helpless child.”
Sighing deeply, his feet shift on the other side of the door. “I never said you were. I want to be here for you every way I can.”
“You have been. More than anyone else. I'll see you in the morning.”
“Night, Ev.”
“Oh, Con!” I shout.
“What's up?”
“Could you do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“You haven't heard what it is yet.”
“Does it involve killing anyone?” he asks, his voice humorous.
I laugh, pressing my hands into the mattress. “No. Nothing that extreme. Not yet at least.”
“Then whatever it is, I'm sure I can manage.”
“Can you find out Ignacio's number for me?”