“Ma, you know better than anyone, I wasn't safe anywhere.”
“You were before.”
“Before when?”
“Your dad was arrested and before you found out who Everett really was. They both kept you safe all those years ago. I can't do it alone.”
“No, Ma. You kept me safe. You alone. They are the reason I ended up suffering in some dark hellhole for a few months. We are better off without them. You'll see soon enough.” I only have to play on my dad's good side for a little longer, along with pretending to be who Everett thought I still was.
Her brow furrows. “But you were there for over a year.”
“Yeah, well, you have no concept of time in places like that. I still don't.” It was mostly the truth. Who knows when I'll finally adjust to being in the real world again.
She forces a smile on her lips and nods. “You're right. I'm sorry. I know things are hard right now but they can only get better from here on out.”
How does she know? These words of encouragement do more harm than people realize. I tell her what she wants to hear anyway, not wanting to take away the light she recently gained back in her eyes. “I know, Ma. But you know what they say,time wounds all heels,” I say smugly.
Laughter spills from her lips. “I'm so happy to have you back.”
“Me too.” We'll need each other more than ever now. We are all we truly have.
I stand up from the bed and cup her hand in mine. “Don't worry about tomorrow. We'll figure it all out. We don't even have to go home. It can be anywhere.”
She nods, gripping onto my fingers. “You're right. Your tia Rosa has a new house out by the lake. No one knows of it but me and her sons. She didn't want to risk Tony finding out where she was.”
Running is never the solution. Neither is hiding. All Tia Rosa is doing is buying herself time before her abusive ex can come crawling back into her life again. My mom knows as well as anyone that if someone wants to find you, they will.
“Yeah, we can go there then. At least until we figure out a better option.” I needed to stay close to town right now. My mother may not realize it, but I want to be found. The difference between now and then is, I'm not a clueless kid anymore. I'll be ready for them this time. Every single fucking one.
Dinner comes and after we eat together, my mom kisses me goodbye and I watch through the window, looking around the parking lot until I know she's safely in her car. I grab my new phone that I had an old friend bring to me earlier. I would have asked my family, but I have a feeling I can't trust them. I send out a message and it doesn't take long for me to get a response.
Gunner: It's already been taken care of.
Me: Good.
I had a tracker installed on my mom's car, along with Everett's, needing to know where they both were at all times for different reasons. Everett’s job will try to send him into protective custody or ask him to hang low for a while, but I know he won't. He's too damn dedicated to his job. What if he only saved me so he could have me put away in a cell next to my dad?
He'll have to find a good enough reason first. I've stayed in limited contact with my family and every conversation between us has not only been in this room but also harmless. I haven't made any calls to the prison and have turned away my father's guards. Nothing on paper links me to his businesses or him, other than the blood flowing through my veins. No doubt they are watching and waiting for me to reach out to him, expecting me to go back to doing his dirty work behind closed doors.
The only plans I've made to see him is when I bleed the life from his body. I'll never take his orders again. From here on out, everything will be done my way. My dad's reign will soon come fully crashing to the ground and Everett's life will keep changing for the worst, but I won't end it. No, I'll drag it out for as long as I can, filling it with misery and me. The best part is, from here on out, I'll barely have to lift a fucking finger.
My dad made it obvious what he was to everyone. I'm much better at hiding the inner monster the world made me into. They can come for me all they want but when they find me, I won't be the man they've been looking for.
I shove my hand in the pocket of my jacket, pressing my fingers into the knife so hard I break skin.
No, I'll be something much worse. They don't know it yet, but I'm the nightmare they won't be able to wake up from.
Eleven
Everett
Tossing and turning, I lift the covers higher. The bed is too soft, the blankets are too thick, the air is too warm and…I swallow hard trying to drown out the remainder of my thoughts. After a few more times of flopping around in bed, I finally sit up, allowing the restlessness to win. I was forced to leave without saying goodbye. My boss came by once the cops were gone and gave me a ride to my brother's house. His words from earlier replay on a loop in my head.
As soon as he saw me stare over at the wall, he shook his head. “Don't even think about it, Ev. I understand what you two went through was difficult and you feel like you still need to keep him safe but you need to think of yourself too. You've been chasing after the kid for way too long now. You did what you said you would. He's home and back with his mom. You need to walk away now.”
He's right and I told myself I would, but how can I know he'll be safe when danger will always be lurking in every corner? What if he's taken again and it's only because I chose towalk away?
I told him I'd always watch over him and I won't stop because the job is over. I tried to move on to new cases but my head was so stuck in the past, it was hard to put my full focus on anything new. It's over now and I still don't think I can move on. I'm not even sure I can sit at the same desk again. Especially now that I suspect half the office has been secretly working with the wrong side the whole time. Did some of them help arrange my kidnapping? I can't even look my boss in the face. Did he know where Ignacio was the whole time? Was he really trying to get me to close the case for his own benefit?