CHAPTERSEVEN
Silas
“What am I doing, boy?” I say, scratching Buster behind the ear as I lean down in my chair.
It’s only ten minutes before Lauren’s due to arrive at my apartment, where we’ve scheduled our first session.
It's been over a day since we arranged it, more than twenty-four precious hours which I could’ve spent with my woman.
I’m sitting in my living room, the room seeming large and empty. Maybe it’s thinking about having children with Lauren, always thinking about it, every moment since she walked into my office….
My home is practical, with few personal flourishes, modern and sleek and functional. But it feels somehow soulless when compared to my vision of the future, with happy footsteps running all around us.
With love and happiness and all the things we can never share because it would tear Julian apart.
Buster begins to yap when my cell phone goes off. He’s been more agitated ever since I met Lauren… or felt like I’d met her since it wasn’t our first meeting.
But in another sense, it was….
I’ve never known her as this woman, this angel who won’t stop enthralling me.
It’s Julian. I answer quickly.
I wonder if he knows. But is that rational?
It could be. Lauren might’ve gotten guilty, might’ve told him.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hello, Silas.”
“This sounds serious.” I try for a casual laugh, but it comes out sounding forced, even to myself. “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t want to make this call,” he goes on, not mirroring my laughter. “It’s a difficult call for any father to make.”
Deep within, I start spinning up excuses, wondering what I can say to make this better…to make him forgive me for what I did…and also what I was planning to do, at least on some level.
After what happened with Lauren, did I really think inviting her to my apartment would be a good idea?
But it’s all over now.
Julian clearly knows.
I won’t make excuses. I’ll have to face this head-on.
“Silas?”
“I’m here. I can….”
Explain, I’m about to say, but then he cuts in, “I’ve got complete faith in Lauren’s skills. I’ve seen how hard she works,isworking, every day. But I need to say this so we avoid trouble further along the line.”
I say nothing, and he goes on, “If this is a favor to me, a way to make up for the video stuff….”
“No,” I say quickly, the thought sickening to me.
It would involve lying to Lauren, exaggerating her skills, but even her self-applied tattoos are beautiful. And the designs she sent me were great.
“I chose her because….”