It was that same wild unchained expression like he was setting himself free….
Like we were setting each other free.
“But he gave me his word,” Dad goes on. “He’ll keep that stuff away from where the shareholders can see it, at least.”
The waiter brings our coffee. After we say thank you, Dad mutters, “I just wish he’d find somebody. Sorry, Lauren, you don’t need me unloading on you.”
“Find somebody?” I say, ignoring the last part.
I get this nasty feeling like I’m prying, but Dad never talks much about work, even less about Silas.
And why would he?
It’s not like Dad knows I’m waiting for any scraps I can get.
“I’m not saying older men shouldn’t do extreme sports….”
“Silas isn’t exactlyold, Dad.”
“I saidolder,” Dad replies.
I look at my coffee quickly, keen to avoid his gaze, as though he’s mentally picking me apart, wondering why I wanted to defend Silas’ age so fervently.
“But if he had a wife, kids, something other than adrenalin and work, I think he’d slow down.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want kids,” I mutter, blowing on my coffee.
“He does. We’ve talked about it before.”
The café is bustling, with plenty of noise, but even so, I have to focus hard to keep my voice level. It’s like there’s a matchmaker inside of me, keen to get all the info about Silas that I can.
But this is my dad, not somebody to sneakily get information out of.
“Oh?” I say, somehow sounding casual.
“A few, he says,” Dad goes on. “But the problem is, he’s never found a woman…ah, you don’t need to hear this.”
Idoneed to hear it, but I cannot explain that without shattering everything.
“I don’t mind,” I say.
“It’s unrealistic,” Dad goes on. “He wants to look at a woman and know, instantly, that he’s always going to love her. He wants it like that.”
Dad snaps his fingers.
“But that’s not how it works for most people. Most people find somebody they like, slowly fall in love, and work daily to make it happen.”
“Maybe he doesn’t want what most people have,” I whisper, daring to dream that woman could be me.
But just because he pounced on me with lust-filled hands doesn’t mean he feelsthatway.
Maybe that’s why he was so pissed, looked sodisgustedat the end…not only because we’re betraying Dad but because I don’t live up to his ideal.
I’m not good enough.
It’s not like I can even ask Silas since we agreed thatwenever happened.
“I understand that,” Dad says. “But he might wait too long. As a man who says he wants kids, he’s not working very hard to find the one.”