“This is why I asked for my emergency key back,” I dutifully point out.
My cheek apparently bumps the speaker phone button, because the phone is a lot louder when she talks again.
“If you have problems getting it up, I bought you some—”
“Ma!” I hiss, eyes widening when Piper chokes on air.
Of course this would fucking happen. I hate damn phones.
“Fine. Fine. I’ll leave you alone,” Ma says as I struggle to get the damn phone off the obnoxious volume.
There’s a reason none of us ever got a phone. We knew if we got one, Ma would get one. And then we’d never have peace again.
“Oh! Pick me up some of those winged pads while you’re out, would you? I’ve been flowing too much all—”
I barely manage to end the call, and Lenny almost looks too disgusted to take the phone back from me. So this is hell. This is why guys don’t introduce chicks to their mothers before they’ve bedded them and robbed them of all rational thought.
“When I see Liam Harper again, I’m going to punch him in the face for giving Ma that phone,” I tell Lenny with all the seriousness I can muster.
“Gut shot would be better,” he says without missing a beat. “He may have rock hard abs, but he’s a pansy with gut shots. Face shots piss off Kylie too much. Trust me, that bitch has only gotten crazier since her ego shot up three times higher than it already was. And she hangs out with the Vincents more than ever, which of course makes her worse instead of better. People rub off on her too easy, and the Vincents be loco.”
He twirls his finger in a circle next to his head.
“Vincents? As in Hale Vincent?” Piper asks in confusion.
“Damn, you let her meet the Vincents and didn’t bring her out to meet us first?” Lenny says on a shocked breath as he covers his heart with his hand. “That’s cold, man.”
Why did some rich Ken doll have to stalk her home from California just because he fell for Kylie? I wouldn’t have minded him if not for the phone thing.
I almost forget Piper is beside me, until I feel her tugging on my shirt, drawing my attention back. Right. She just heard my mother once again trying to turn her into a human incubator for a child I don’t plan on having.
At least ten people are pressed against the glass, gawking at Piper and pointing at her very obviously. They scatter away from the window, feigning innocence, when I smirk in their direction. A few quake in fear.
Putting my arm back around her shoulders, I start guiding her away from the fish tank, heading toward the diner.
Lenny falls in step beside her.
“This is a date. Fuck off—”
“But you’re so pretty! Just imagine how pretty our kids would be!” Krysta Nickel shouts as she chases Benson’s prissy brother, who is walking a lot faster, looking slightly wide-eyed.
He says nothing, and she keeps at him like it’s her mission.
“I’m good in bed, if that’s the problem,” she assures him. “Guys always rave about my skills!”
Lenny turns a little green. It’s what gets rid of him. He’s gone in the next instant.
“I’m not having babies with you just because you like the way I look. Do you hear how crazy that sounds? I don’t even know you!” Deacon—I think that’s his name—shouts.
Piper almost crashes against me when she spins to get a better look at him. Great. Now I’ve got to punch him too. Never had a problem with him until now. What if Piper turns into the stalker Krysta has clearly turned into?
Girls seem to be into the pretty-boy types like that. All the women in town went crazy over Kylie’s pretty boy for a long damn time, until Kylie laid claim.
I’m definitely punching his face so that he doesn’t draw Piper in like one of his flies.
“Please! One of my best friends is married to your brother. That makes us practically like non-blood-related family. Unlike Lilah, I don’t care if a litter comes out of me, so long as they have our good looks, my family heritage, and your family’s money,” Krysta carries on.
“Is this for real? Or is this some curbside skit?” Piper asks in a flat, even tone, eyes still wide as she just stares at Deacon.
I have no idea what that second question even means.
“You got a thing for Deacon too?” I ask a little bitterly.
All the damn women in town bake him things and take it to him every time he comes to visit.
“Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth?” Deacon shouts at her, putting both of his hands in his hair and pulling at it like he’s losing his mind.
“Do you hear the words coming out of my mouth?” she volleys, hands on her hips as she smirks. “I’m offering free sex.”