Rixxis finally rolled over to face him, tucking her hands under her head. “Why would it upset me?”
Ieduin shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I just thought…”
He frowned.I thought there was something between you and me, and I don’t know how to tell you I want both of you. I don’t even know if you’ll understand. I don’t know if I’m just fucked in the head and selfish for wanting that.
Rixxis pressed her lips together in a thin line and looked him up and down as if she were debating sharing a secret of her own. “Did you know he has a sex dungeon?”
Ieduin blinked and sat up. “A what?”
“There’s a room on the bottom level of the castle, as big as the great hall. It’s full of chains and strange furniture andthings.”
He wasn’t surprised Rowan would have such a place. In fact, he’d be more surprised if Rowan didn’t. The real surprise was that Rixxis had been in it before him.
Ieduin sprouted a wry grin. “And what were you doing down there, huh? A little show and tell?”
“Don’t be an ass,” she said and gave his shoulder a shove.
It was a relief that they could go back to being so friendly so quickly after a moment of tension.
“I found it by accident,” she continued. “But he came in after me and… We were talking. He was trying to explain it to me, and I was trying to understand, but…” She trailed off and sat up. “He kissed me, Ieduin.”
She acted like it was some big revelation, as if she expected him to be mad or something.
She doesn’t know, Ieduin realized.She doesn’t know that’s how he is. How I am. Maybe she’d never even considered it.
“And you think I should be upset about that?”
She shrugged.
How to break it to her gently and in a way she’d understand? He cleared his throat. “Do you like sandwiches, Rixxis?”
Rixxis blinked, confused. “What?”
“Meat and cheese between two slices of bread. Maybe a little mustard on there, maybe something a little sweet on the side. Kat used to make these hot sandwiches when we were on campaign with roast beef and this special spiced goat cheese. It was like an orgasm in your mouth.”
“Ieduin,” Rixxis said firmly. “Focus. What does that have to do with anything?”
Ieduin snorted. “Only everything. You can eat bread by itself. You can eat meat by itself. Or you can put the meat between the bread and eat it that way. Two ingredients, one thing, right? But once you put the cheese on there, it’s something totally different. You can have all three together and it’s even better.”
He held one hand out, palm up. “This is Rowan,” he said, pointing to his palm. Then he took Rixxis’s hand and put it on top of his. “This is you. And this,” he said, waving his other hand, “is me.” He slid his hand between hers and the one that was supposed to represent Rowan. “And this, all three? That’s us. Although sometimes it might be more like this.” He put her hand in the middle. “Get it?”
Rixxis frowned down at their hands. “So, am I the cheese or the bread?”
“Which one do you want to be?”
She considered it for a minute. “You said something about mustard, too. How does that fit in?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s the stuff he keeps in his dungeon.”
“But—”
Ieduin’s finger shot forward, pressing to her lips. “Every time you open your mouth, this whole food-sex analogy gets more confusing, and I just get hungrier.”
She blinked. “Okay, then. What now?”
He looked around as if the answer was just going to jump out at them. When it didn’t, he shrugged. “It’s not fair that he got to kiss you and I didn’t. Honestly, I feel a little put out that it was him and not me first, considering all the things we’ve been through together.”
Her face flushed bright red. “You’ve never asked to kiss me.”