“I brought the party!” Lenny yells, swinging an arm around Nolan’s neck and tugging him into a crowd of cheerleaders and football players. His gaze cuts to me a silent apology as Lenny tugs him farther away. I remain on the fringes, waiting for those same warm feelings of belonging and comradery to flood me as they did Saturday, but as they joke and belch and the girls scream each time one of the guys pretends to scare them, I draw farther and farther away from the group.
“Maybe we should just go,” Hannah says, clearly feeling the same hit of estrangement. “It feels like I’m losing brain cells just by listening to them.”
“Are we just boring? Do we not know how to have fun?”
Hannah shrugs. “If this is fun, I want to be boring.”
Negativity eats at my thoughts. I could be home practicing my speech and working on outlining my second speech while baking another batch of banana bread (which I’ve nearly perfected) and am instead here, sweating, and hot, surrounded by bad decisions that are doing nothing to relieve that itch.
I lean forward to tell Hannah I’m ready if she is, but Ethan and Colin appear, weaving their way through the crowd to reach us.
“Hey.” Hannah’s voice no longer sounds bitter or bored and she’s smiling, juvenile behaviors and the raging hot sun forgotten as she hugs Ethan. Something about him pulls at my attention, an intuition that I can’t place. Maybe it’s the way he continues to scan across the masses or how loose he holds her, but something has me taking note. “I don’t know how you guys practice in this heat,” she says.
They launch into an answer as Evelyn makes her way over to us. “Do you want to grab something to drink?” she asks. “I can’t believe how hot it is already.” She looks back at Hudson and vaguely gestures to Hannah. It’s a silent request for him to watch and pay attention, proving once again that Evelyn is my kind of people. The type of people I want in my circle and at my table.
“I swear, they’re not complete animals … most of the time.” She glances back as one of the guys makes a crude comment. “Except for that one. Clearly.” She shakes her head.
I grin, “Let me tell Hannah, really quick.”
Hannah is too distracted to hear the details, but I assure her I’ll be back before joining Evelyn and heading toward the South Lawn.
“Just to be clear, if someone on the team—or someone not on the team—bothers you or makes you feel uncomfortable, just find Nolan or Hudson. Grey, Corey, and Palmer are safe, too. And me of course.”
I smile, trying my best not to look dismissive, but I don’t want to hear how great they are. I don’t want to remember that warm sense of belonging from last Saturday that was likely alcohol induced. I was appreciating looking at them all like a bunch of meatheads who lack manners and civility.
“This is crazy. I didn’t expect this many people,” I tell her, hoping to change the subject.
“They open it to the public,” she says. “Everyone can participate.”
“Have you done it before?”
Evelyn shakes her head. “I used to spend my summers here. This is my first autumn.”
“Your first spider season.” I wince.
“Oh my gosh. They’re huge, and they’re everywhere!”
“Everywhere,” I echo. Giant orb spiders seem to crawl out of every stretch of woodlands and converge into towns, making webs on every structure, car, and tree.
“They’ll mostly be gone by Halloween, but I was shocked to see so many last year.”
The conversation turns awkward as we wait in line for drinks. I’m sure it’s my bad mood and distracted thoughts that are to blame. Guilt has me offering to pay the bill when it’s our turn to order.
On our way back, the noise of the crowd keeps things from feeling awkward or forced.
“Need some help?” Nolan asks, reaching for the water bottles gathered in my arms as Hudson moves to help Evelyn with her haul. “You guys bought them out.”
“Yeah, you can pass them out. I’m going to take these to Hannah.”
“What should our strategy be for the run?” Nolan asks, following me.
I shake my head, trying to avoid looking at him or smelling him because everything about Nolan seems to distract me and make me forget that he’s my roommate’s brother and allergic to monogamy. “My strategy is to not pass out from heatstroke or hairspray inhalation,” I say as a group of cheerleaders spray clouds of aerosol on each other’s hair and face. “Are they breathing it in?”
“It sets their makeup, so the heat doesn’t make it run,” Sam explains as I distribute water to the four of them.
Sometimes, I think I’d fail a written test on how to be a girl. “Learn something new every day.”
Sam looks as though he’s questioning my credibility, but Nolan grins. “Do you play any sports?”