Leo shoves his free hand in his pocket, the other still holding the bag that I’m guessing contains his lunch. Funny how life is still carrying on around us, and no one knows that my heart is bleeding inside of my chest right now.
“I know you, Serena, and I know you must have been devastated. Dance was your life. You don’t need to minimize things with me.”
Yes, I do. Because you used to know me, but you don’t anymore. You moved on.
“Seriously, I’m fine now,” I say firmly.
Leo stares at me for a minute before letting his eyes fall away. “Okay. Well, I’m glad you’re happy. How did you end up in Dogwood Cove?”
“A former dance colleague’s mother wanted to sell her studio, and I took her up on it.” I answer succinctly. “And you?” I tilt my chin up defiantly. “You’ve got a kid now.” I can hear the accusation in my tone, and I hate it. I hate that I’m feeling petty and jealous of the fact that clearly, when Leo said he didn’t want kids, he meant he didn’t want kids with me.
But he doesn’t rise to the bait. Instead, Leo simply nods.
Twisting the knife in my chest a little bit deeper, I follow up with, “Where’s her mom?”
Better to know now than have it be a surprise in the future when some woman shows up claiming to be the love of his life.
His brows knit together. “Not in the picture.”
Before I can poke and pry even further at that cryptic statement, Leo pulls out his phone. “Look, I’ve got to go. Staff meeting with the chief and a few others in ten minutes, and I still need to eat.”
I step back, suddenly feeling beyond awkward at the arctic air between us. “Yes. Of course. Sorry. It was nice seeing you.”It was nice seeing you? No, it wasn’t, it was painful and horrible.
Leo looks at me, and when I force my eyes to meet his, I see a small glimmer of the boy I used to love. “It really was. And I guess, small town and all, I’ll be seeing more of you.”
He taps his phone against his leg, gives me a small, enigmatic smile, and then he’s gone.
“Oh crap, did he leave? He forgot the dressing for his salad.” One of the waitresses at Camille’s comes rushing up to the door before turning back to me. “Hey, Serena, right? You seemed like you knew my cousin, any chance you could run this over to the police station for him?”
My eyes dart down to the name tag on her uniform.Kat.She must be the Donnelly sister. After all this time living here, how did I not know they were Leo’s cousins?
“Umm, sorry, I can’t. I’ve got to run, actually. I have another class to teach.”
Kat shrugs. “Oh well, his problem, I guess. He’ll come back if he needs it, or he’ll just text me and bitch later. I assume you want your order to go?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
As soon as I have my lunch, I rush back to the studio. Ranting to Paige about how insane I’m feeling will have to wait. I need to eat, answer some emails, including one from my accountant that Ireallydon’t want to read, and then get ready for an afternoon at the high school, working with their dance team.
Freaking out will just have to wait.
By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. Physically, because teaching four classes of dance and leading a group of teens in a dance routine would take a lot out of anyone. Mentally, because the strength it took to not obsess about Leo all day was absurd.
I pour a glass of wine and grab the bag of popcorn I always keep in my pantry. I’m pulling an Olivia Pope dinner tonight. I drop down on my couch and turn on the TV to some mindless cooking show.
It’s only after my wine glass is half empty that I let myself unravel the tangle of thoughts and emotions swirling in my head after the day I’ve had.
The mystery of Violet’s mother remains, well, a mystery, but at least I don’t have to try and deal with seeing him happily in love with another woman. I’ve adjusted surprisingly well, if I do say so myself, to the fact that my former high school boyfriend and the closest thing to a soul mate I have ever had is suddenly living in my small town. I mean, there are coincidences, and there arecoincidences.But I’ve accepted that he’s here.
Which begs the next question. What do I want to do about it? If the weird energy between us today was any indication, we’ve got some unfinished business between us. And I know the blame for that lies completely on me. I ended things so abruptly and never explained to him the real reason why. Mostly because it took many years of therapy to figure out what that reason even was.
A fear of abandonment brought on by the sudden and unexpected divorce of my parents. That’s what my therapist called it.
Your dad leaves, and after a few months of awkward phone calls, you stop hearing from him except for the odd Christmas card that gets through mail forwarding. Your mom refuses to talk about any of it and throws herself head first into “redefining herself.”
That’s more than enough to mess up someone’s perspective on love and long-term relationships. And in my case, it was enough to make me absolutely certain that Leo and I would never survive the long distance that would separate us when we both went to university. Which is why, in my infinite teenage wisdom, I figured it would hurt less if I ended it early before letting our love disintegrate into dust.
But he doesn’t know any of this. And as the slightly more rational adult that I am now, I guess I can see why he deserves to know.