“No, Tippy, it’s more than that. It’s you caring about me, about my daughter, enough to take the time to figure out what would be helpful and then doing it. Your capacity for love is endless. And witnessing that energy directed toward Violet is more than I ever expected. I just… I’m… ” I huff out a sigh. “Thank you.”
Violet chooses that moment to cry out for me from her room.
“Shit, I better go check on her. Can you stay for a minute?”
Serena shakes her head, “No. Sorry, I have to go to the studio and start preparing some advertising stuff.” She starts to back out of the kitchen and I can sense her goddamn walls going up again. I just don’t know why.
Violet calls out my name again, her little voice sounding extra pitiful and stabbing me with guilt that I’m not instantly running to her side. But I can’t shake the nagging suspicion that Serena’s about to bolt. And not just in a physical sense.
“Serena,” I start toward her but she lifts her hand up.
“Your daughter needs you, Leo. I’ll talk to you later.”
Helpless to stop her, I watch Serena walk out of my house. There’s no way for me to go after her and demand she tell me why she’s retreating right now. Not while Vi is waiting for me.
Being a father may be an incredible blessing, and my daughter is the light of my life.
But right now, not only do I feel like I failed Violet by leaving her last night, I’m also failing myself — and Serena — by letting her go.
Except there’s nothing I can do about that. All I can do is remember my number one priority.
My daughter.
Chapter seventeen
Serena
“Your capacity for love is endless… ”
I’ve rolled those words around in my head all day, distracted from the things I was meant to be doing as I tried to make sense of it.
“Serena, seriously?” Ashley claps her hands in front of my face, snapping me out of my inner thoughts. “Look, if this isn’t a good time then let’s meet later.”
Shit, she sounds annoyed. “I’m sorry, Ash,” I mumble, dropping my head into my hands as I slump forward in my chair.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, her tone softer now. I lift my head off my desk.
“It’s Leo. Well, no, it’s me. I’m so freaking confused.” When Ashley doesn’t say anything, I sit up straighter. “Do you think second chances are good?”
Understanding dawns in her eyes. “I mean, sometimes, yes. In a way, Finn and I needed to give each other a second chance.”
I consider that for a moment, and she’s right. Sort of. “But is it different when there’s so much time and life between things? You and Finn, or any of the others, your second chances were about immediate forgiveness of stupid choices and miscommunications. With me and Leo, our second chance is about relearning each other, falling in love all over again, and trying to forgive everything that happened. Except there’s twenty years of life separating our past from our present.”
“Right, but why did you have twenty years apart?”
Oh.
“Stupid choices and miscommunications.”
Ashley nods her head as if she’s just solved world peace. “Exactly. The only difference is time. And maybe you guys needed all that time to get to a place in your lives where you could actually work through those mistakes and come out stronger and better for each other in the end.”
“You’re really smart, you know that?”
Ashley grins at me, then folds her arms across her chest and leans back in her chair. “I do, actually. That’s also why you asked me to help you figure out marketing your new adult intro to dance class, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I chuckle, and we turn our attention back to the ad mock-ups we’ve been working on. “Okay, let’s do this. If I have to torture myself teaching grown-ups, we might as well make me sound good.”
After Ashley leaves, as I get ready for my after-school classes, I think about Ashley’s comment. There’s no denying that Leo and I have grown and matured over the years. But was that a good thing for our relationship or not? My heart and my gut says it’s a good thing. Which means I need to stop running from my feelings and stop avoiding the hard stuff I need to do in my life.