“Please tell me none of you jackasses ever made a move on her,” I growl and they all immediately shake their heads. “Thank fuck for that.” I sink back down into my chair and pop the top off my beer, drinking it down.
“So, you and Serena. That seems like… I dunno, something?” Max asks cautiously.
I nod. “Yeah. It’s something.”
“And? Come on dude, give us more to go on,” Sawyer says impatiently.
“There’s not much more to say. We have a past, and for her, that included walking away when shit got tough in her life. Now she’s got these walls up, and I don’t know if I have the time, the energy, or the desire to try and push through them. Vi’s gotta be my priority. Not to mention, I can’t take the risk of her deciding to walk away again. Not now, not with Violet. I have to think of more than just myself.”
“That’s a lot more,” Beckett murmurs into the quiet that follows.
“You’ve been thinking about it, about her.”
I don’t acknowledge Max’s comment. I’d say it’s pretty fucking obvious that I’ve given me and Serena plenty of thought.
“You know Serena’s accountant is my partner, Jonas. She’s always seemed really grounded and content in Dogwood Cove. Connected to the community and all that. Why are you so worried she’d walk away again?”
I turn to Beckett. “Shit, I don’t know. Maybe it has to do with the two women who I figured would have the most invested in staying with me walking out; it kinda jades a guy. And like I said, she’s got walls. Strong walls. I don’t know if she’d even be interested in trying again.”
“Serena is nothing like Alexa.”
The mention of Violet’s biological mother makes my eye twitch. Any woman that could just up and decide she didn’t want to be a mom and walk away from their baby for no better reason than it was cramping theirlifestyledoesn’t deserve a lot of my respect.
“I know she isn’t. But I still gotta think of Vi.”
“Doesn’t Violet deserve a dad who’s happy?” Max asks, and damn if his question doesn’t hit me square in the heart.
“Of course she does. But my happiness is secondary to hers,” I fire back.
“Or maybe your happiness could be foundwithhers.”
Lying in bed that night, I flip my phone over and over in my hand, unable to get what Max said out of my head.
Is it even remotely possible that I could make things work with Serena?
More importantly, is it possible that I can live in the same town as her andnot be with her?
At least I know the answer to the second question.
LEO: Hey, you awake?
SERENA: Yeah
I type without pausing to consider what I’m writing.
LEO: It felt really fucking good kissing you.
LEO: I don’t regret it and I sure as shit hope you don’t.
I watch those three damn dots travel across the screen for long enough to send my heart rate sky high until finally, I get a response.
SERENA: I don’t regret it. I just don’t know what to do about it.
LEO: You know what I missed the most about you was your energy. You brought so much life and happiness into my world. It didn’t matter how bad my mom’s depression was, or how difficult baseball practice was, or what test I failed. Being with you always made me feel better. Feel loved.
SERENA: Leo…
I push the button for a video call and instantly regret it when I see her beautiful face and only the thin straps of a tank top. She’s in bed as well, her blonde hair spread over a pillow. Fuck, I wish I was there in person, not doing this over the phone.