“You’re sure you don’t want me to come back so you can go out with the boys?”
I stand up with Violet in my arms and guide her to the door. “Yes, I’m sure. It’s more than enough that you help when I have to work, you don’t need to babysit just so I can go out for a beer.”
She lifts her hand to cup my cheek, the gesture mothering in nature. “Your cousins are so happy you’re here, and so am I. Wewantto help you find a better balance between being a dad and being yourself.”
“Thank you. But I’m good. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Aunt Claire looks at me a moment longer before kissing Violet on the forehead and finally walking out the door.
I love her and she has the best intentions, but Vi is my kid, my responsibility. And that means no nights at the bar for awhile. That’s the deal, that’s the job. And I take my role of father even more seriously than my role of police officer.
“Alright missy, why don’t we grab a snack and then go outside to set up that playhouse for you?”
Later that evening, I get Violet settled for bed surprisingly easily. I guess she was tired out from the day. I’ll take it as a win. Just as I’m opening the fridge to see if there’s any beer left, a quiet knock sounds at my door.
Opening it reveals three of my five cousins crowded on my front porch. Sawyer’s holding a six pack of beer, Max has a bag that looks like chips or something, and Beckett has his hands in his pockets.
“Uh, hey guys, what’s going on?”
Sawyer pushes his way past me and heads straight to the kitchen. “Guys night.”
Max comes in next and whisper-yells to his brother, “Dude, be quiet, Vi’s sleeping.” On his way to the kitchen he turns and gives me a nod of his head. “Hey Leo.”
Beckett is the only one who stops in the doorway and has the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry to crash in on you like this, but we really wanted to hang out tonight. Hope it’s okay?”
I give him a quick smile as we follow his brothers into the kitchen. “So, it’s not that I’mnothappy to see you, but I thought you were going to the pub tonight?”
Sawyer turns to me with ais this guy stupidlook on his face. “Yeah, we were, if you could come. But since you didn’t want Mom to babysit, we figured we’d move guys night here.”
“I said we should’ve warned you,” Beckett chimes in. His comment doesn’t surprise me. Out of the four guys, he’s always been the most responsible and reserved when it comes to socializing. He’s the introvert of the family, an accountant, and often the only voice of reason with his brothers. Especially when it comes to Sawyer. For twins, those two are like night and day with their opposing personalities.
“Yeah, and I said if we did that, old man Leo would find a reason to say no. Better to ask forgiveness than permission and all that shit.” Sawyer cracks open a beer and hands it to me before doing the same for his brothers. “Cheers, man.” I inwardly roll my eyes. He’s the definition of a hotheaded middle child.
“We thought about bringing the poker set but figured we’ll save that for another night. It’s too nice out to be inside. You got the firepit set up yet?” Max asks, moving to the back door.
“No, but it’s quick enough,” I reply. We head outside, and Sawyer helps me set up the propane fire pit, insisting he be the one to check the connections. I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself, but I let him do it anyway. Good luck convincing a firefighter not to care about fire safety.
“Did you catch Jude’s last game?” Max asks once we’re all settled around the fire. The second oldest Donnelly, Jude, is a forward with the Montana Blaze hockey team. He was home briefly around the time I moved here, but now he’s on the road playing in the NHL.
“Fuck yeah, he dominated that third period.”
The brothers all lift their beers, and we drink to Jude. When he was back, he made a couple of comments about possibly retiring soon. He’s in his early thirties, so I would have figured he could keep playing for a while. But Max confided in me that Jude’s had a couple of concussions already, and he might need to stop playing before the risk of brain damage gets any higher.
“So. Leo the lion.”
Goddamnit, that nickname pisses me off. One Halloween costume as a child and Sawyer never lets me forget it. I suppress my eye roll and give him a questioning glance.
“Rumour around town is that you’ve been hanging out with Miss Serena, that hottie dance teacher.”
Anger flares inside of me at his description of her. “Hey, be a bit more respectful, asshole.”
He lifts his hands in apology. “Woah, sorry, sore subject?”
I take a sip of my beer. My cousins all moved away from the town in Ontario we all grew up in before Serena and I got together, so they never met her. Which means they don’t know about our history. All of a sudden I realize I could use some perspective. Because they may not know Serena and I have a past, but they might know her now. Which could give me some insight and help me figure out what the fuck to do.
“We dated back in high school.”Now there’s an understatement if I ever said one. “Actually, she was the fucking love of my life until she broke up with me and destroyed me for any other woman,” I blurt out.
Silence fills the space after my verbal vomit, and I keep my eyes on the fire as I chug what’s left of my beer. “I’m gonna get another. Anyone else?” I stand up, not waiting for their reply, and head into the kitchen. I can’t quite believe I just put it all out there like that. Even if these guys are family, that doesn’t mean we’ve ever gotten touchy-feely with our emotions. And I just admitted to having my heart ripped to pieces by a woman they all know.Fuck. What if one of them dated her? Sure, they’re younger than we are, but age doesn’t really matter these days. Grabbing a beer, I march back outside.