Kelsey nods her head, but she looks frustrated, like she wants something.
“Cameron?” she says as he gets off of my lap.
“Yeah?” She grabs him by the collar of his shirt and plants a messy kiss on his lips.
“See ya later.”
Cameron is in a dizzy state and shakes his head. “Yeah, later.” He walks in front of me as I pass Kelsey.
“Do I get a goodbye kiss?”
“No goodbye kisses for bad boys. Bye!” she says as she slams the door behind me.
“I want to keep her,” Cameron says as we hop into the truck and I start the engine.
“Yeah, me too.” I just need to get my head out of my ass and find a way to get along with the stuck-up female Alpha that they want in our pack.
Chapter 19
Robinstaresatmeand I know she knows I’m holding back and that I’m lying to her. I was stupid to think I could pass one over on her. It’s like she has telepathy. She knows I’m full of shit.
“Kelsey?”
“Yes?”
“I know that you’re holding back something. What is it?” Her tortoise-shell glasses are perched at the end of her nose as she arches an eyebrow and gives me the therapist look. The one that reads, you pay to be here, why are you fucking around?
“I haven’t taken my suppressants all week.”
She sits back in her chair, not making a comment on my revelation. Robin is hard to read. I can’t tell if she is disappointed or if she’s just taking in what I told her.
“Is there a specific reason?” she asks.
“It started off as an accident. I left them in the car when I was going on a date and well, it’s a long story, but I wasn’t able to get them back. But I feel so good, Robin. I feel like I’ve been walking around seeing the world in black and white for the last couple of months. I forgot how good it felt to not be on suppressants.” I say it all very fast, letting the truth set me free.
“Suppressants aren’t meant to be a long term cure. While I don’t like the fact that you went off medication without speaking to your health team, I can understand your reasoning for being off them. I would advise that now that you are off suppressants, you need to have a heat contingency plan.”
I’m confused. Did she just say she was okay with this? “A heat contingency plan?”
“Yes, your last heat was not satisfied and now that you aren’t taking suppressants, who knows when your next heat will be here? You could go back on suppressants but it doesn’t sound like it’s what you want and I’m concerned it would confuse your system even more.”
I nod my head in understanding. Could I invite all of them to my nest at my house? The idea of that has my stomach churning slightly. My nest is okay for comfort, but it isn’t large. Surely not large enough to physically fit us all as well as Shyla and Dom’s egos. It doesn’t feel right, especially when Meera has helped me through my heat there. I know it’s stupid to care about that. But is it so wrong to want something new, to want to build this pack on a fresh slate? Maybe I’m projecting because I’m still trying to find that clean slate for myself.
“May I suggest Heat Haven?” she says.
“Heat Haven,” I repeat.
“Yes, you’re just starting new relationships. I think it would be wise to have a moderator in place to make sure that no bonding happens. Plus, I know how you feel about your nest. This has far more options that would be more accommodating to the size of your trial pack.”
She opens the top drawer of her desk and hands me a pamphlet. “Kelsey, this is something you need to take seriously.”
“I do,” I reply. “I know that it’s serious, and I probably didn’t go about it right. But I feel amazing, Robin. I haven’t felt this happy in months.”
Robin gives me a smile and nods her head. “Very well. I suggest you give Heat Haven a call then.”
“I will.”
It’s been two weeks and I’ve tried so hard to get everyone together again and it seems the more I try, the more excuses everyone has to not hang out. Cameron and Shyla have had next to no time to get to know each other. And while both Shyla and Dom have apologized to me, they still haven’t spoken. How the hell is this supposed to work when I can’t seem to get everyone in the same room?