I couldn’t go see him in my bathrobe, though. I went over to my room and got dressed. I put on a pair of baggy sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a floppy hoodie, but I made sure to change my underwear first. I didn’t want Cesear to find out I just did it with another man.
I hustled downstairs and out into the grounds. I found him on the terrace and walked up to him. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be all right. You don’t have to worry about me.” He wouldn’t even look at me. He kept scowling out into the shadows.
“Are you still mad at me for considering Romeo’s proposal?”
“It isn’t that.” He shrugged. “I guess I don’t blame you for considering it. It’s a business decision, isn’t it? You’d be stupid not to at least think it over. I just…” He trailed off.
“Why are you still mad at me, then?”
He spun around and scowled at me. “I’m not mad at you.”
“You aren’t? You’re sure acting like you are.”
He shook himself, came over to me, and slipped his hand into mine. He started to soften up. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at Romeo and the Neccis for breaking in like this. He didn’t have to break into your room and make you feel unsafe. He could have sent you the proposal through his father or one of his relatives. He could have gone through the proper channels. That’s the way a gentleman would ask you to marry him—not sneaking in like a thief in the night.”
A thief in the night. I got another shiver of excitement when I remembered him standing outside my room.
You like showing off for a stranger watching through your window, don’t you? You want that dangerous stranger to see how much you want to fuck. Huh? Would you like a dark stranger to come into your room and ravage you in your bed? Is that what you think about when you lie there in your soaking wet panties? Do you think about that when you touch yourself?
My heart and soul screamed, Yes!
I wanted him to sneak into my room like a thief in the night. I wanted him hard and stroking himself outside my window while I played with myself right in front of him. I wanted him to see me soaking wet and ready for him to come inside and take me right there in my bed.
I could never tell Cesare that, though. I had to come up with a way to stop him from finding out that I just did it with Leo.
Then I had one of my more brilliant ideas—or maybe it was just plain crazy. Either way, it was the only thing I could think of to cover up what just happened between me and Leo.
I tugged Cesare’s hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“What—now?” Cesare glanced behind him toward the house. “It isn’t safe.”
“The Neccis won’t do anything now—not after what just happened. Come on. The estate is really nice at night.”
He didn’t argue and let me draw him over to the rose garden. My mind buzzed with what I was about to do. “I’ve been thinking about yesterday—I mean, what we did earlier.”
“What about it?”
“I had a really good time with you yesterday.” I squeezed his hand. “I’ve been thinking… I should have gone through with it.”
He spun around fast—exactly the way I knew he would. “Really?”
I blushed. I didn’t have to pretend to be embarrassed about talking to him like this. “I’ve been going crazy lately with all this staying-a-virgin-until-marriage business. I’m twenty-three. I should have lost my virginity a long time ago, but the family tradition stopped me from doing it. I wish I could just… do it, you know?”
He gaped at me in shock. The lights from the city beyond the walls reflected in his eyes and showed me all the emotions raging beneath the surface. He was falling right into my trap. God, I really was a tramp if I was doing this!
“You have no idea how stifling it is not to be able to just let my hair down, you know?” I went on. “I really wish I had a brother. Then I would have been able to explore sexually and enjoy myself.”
“Are you saying…?” Cesare glanced around him. We had wandered through the rose garden and onto the grassy paths. We were heading back to the place where we fooled around yesterday.
I pulled at his arm and walked backward into the shadows. “Catch me if you can?”
He followed, but I didn’t let go of his hand. I didn’t want to run away into the darkness.
My pulse quickened. I was really going to do this. I had to make him believe he was my first.
I towed him in and kissed him. His reserve evaporated as soon as our lips touched. He pushed me deeper into the bushes.