“Willow, what happened?” Ace asks, touching my cold, wet cheek. “What the hell happened?”
I don’t answer. Like a zombie I walk down the hall, forcing each foot to go in front of the other. Forcing my body to move when all I want to do is crumble to the floor and scream until this pain leaves. Until I can’t feel it for a second longer. I don’t know if I can take much more of this. I don’t know if I can handle it.
“Willow ...”
Ava’s voice trails down the hall after me, and, slowly, I turn. My eyes meet a lot of very confused, worried ones as they all stand, staring at me, waiting expectantly for me to tell them what happened. I have to tell them, might as well get it out while it’s playing like a bad song in my head. Over and over on repeat. Like a fucking nightmare.
“I saw him. He doesn’t want help. If I go back, he said he’d kill me.”
Shocked gasps follow me down the hall and into my room. I shut the door quietly and walk over to the crib where my son is sleeping, thumb in his mouth, looking peaceful. That’s when the wall breaks. My tears begin flowing in a steady stream, and before I know it, they’re running out and horrible, pained noises are coming from my throat. I don’t want to stand here and cry over Cody’s crib. I don’t ever want those noises to fill his dreams. From behind, arms go around me.
“It’s okay, honey. It’s going to be okay,” Jenny whispers.
I can’t speak, even if I wanted to. Jenny slowly turns me and leads me out of the room so as not to wake Cody. He doesn’t even stir. The second we step out, more arms are around me and Ava has joined the group hug. They both hold me so tightly I can hardly breathe, but that doesn’t stop my breakdown from continuing. It just slowly rips me to pieces inside. Bit by bit, it tears me down, until I feel like I might just stop breathing.
“I know you’re hurting,” Ava says carefully, “but, honey, you know he didn’t mean it. He’s trying to protect you.”
I stop crying and pull back, staring at them through blurry lashes.
“No, he meant it.”
“Willow, honey, he didn’t,” Jenny tries now, too. “He doesn’t want you to get involved, if you get involved you’re risking your life. Jagger loves you, he is going to do whatever it takes to make sure you don’t involve yourself, and if that means making you think he would hurt you, then he’ll do it. Don’t you see that?”
I fall silent. I think back to the conversation and the low whip of his voice. I felt like he meant it, every single thing inside me felt like he meant it, but maybe they’re right, maybe he was trying to scare me off. The pain in my heart is all the same, though, and I don’t know if I can continue long enough to find out if he was protecting me or if he truly meant it.
“Come on,” Ava says, rubbing my back, “it’s going to be okay.”
“I felt him, he was so close,” I croak out. “He was right there ... right there.”
“I’m sure he is feeling the same right now,” Jenny assures me.
“I didn’t tell him about Cody, he doesn’t know. I should have told him. Maybe that would have changed things. Maybe ...”
Jenny steps back, putting her hands on my shoulders and stopping me. “You did everything right. We will fix this, okay?”
“Hey ...”
A masculine voice comes from behind us, and we turn to see Bull. I’m surprised to see it’s him, considering he’s usually so quiet. My eyes meet his, and he offers me a small smile.
“Mind if I talk to Willow?”
The girls look to me for confirmation. I nod my head and Jenny rubs my shoulder before taking Ava’s hand, and they leave the room. Bull steps closer.
“Listen, I know what happened out there tonight was crushing. I can’t make you believe anything else, but I can try. Jagger loves you, if you saw how he was when you got taken, you would understand. He vowed he would do anything to make sure you lived a safe life. I know what he said, but I know him. I’ve known Jagger a long, long time, and I know when he cares. He loves you, and I know he is just trying to scare you off because he doesn’t want you involved.”
I smile weakly and nod, my heart heavy. Bull smiles, more to himself than me. “Did he ever tell you how we met?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Bull grins now. He’s quite dazzling, really. I can’t help but smile, too. It’s not often I see his face so ... light and carefree.