Not to mention I was just glad to be able to hang out with Nick. With our busy work schedules, it wasn’t very often we were both off at the same time during the week to be able to do something after work. I didn’t want the chance to slip past since I had no idea how long it would be before we got another one.
I slid into my car and pushed the final thoughts from the day out of my brain.
Plenty of paperwork would be waiting for me in the morning, so I was far from done with the patient. But, I could be done with the day if I so chose. And if I wanted to ever get any kind of personal life outside of work, I had to choose to put the day behind me every time I left.
It was too hard to take this home with me. I just couldn’t do it.
So going out with my friend to get a beer would be just that.
Two guys grabbing a drink after work.
I didn’t have to drag the entire day in with what we were doing.
Just focus on the moment and having fun with Nick.
It was busy, but it was life.
My life.
TWO
Harper
“I just feel sospoiled with you taking the whole day off to spend with me.” Mom gave me a bright smile from around the clothing rack.
“Of course,” I told her. “There’s no way I would have skipped coming down here after what happened.”
“It’s no big deal.” She brushed off the accident she’d had the week before with a short wave of her hand. She’d fallen with some groceries in her arms, hitting her head on the door of her vehicle as she went to put the food inside. She had, of course, gone to the hospital and spoke with them about it, but I still worried it was a lot worse than what we were seeing right now.
The fact that she had been fighting breast cancer for the past year and a half left me feeling on edge over nearly everything health related now. At least, when it came to her health. I tried not to be overly worried about life or the things I did day to day, but when I heard that my mom had fallen and had potentially injured herself, I knew I had to make the time to see her.
I was busy enough with work, but not so busy that I couldn’t take the time off to see my mom. The fact that she had cancer was eye-opening to me. In my mid-twenties, I was living the high life. I was busy with work and with my friends. I was consumed with my social activities, as well as throwing myself into work with a passion.
I wanted to create a career I could be proud of. Something that would be mine years down the road when I was established enough to have a place of my own and a family of my own.
But, I realized that those things were all passing and pointless when you didn’t enjoy them. Or take the time to enjoy them, for that matter. When my mom got sick and I was faced with the shocking reality of her mortality, I vowed I wasn’t going to be so shallow with my time or material possessions. Not that I wouldn’t have anything or refuse to have down time, but I wasn’t going to waste time, either.
I wanted to make the most of what I had with my mom and with my own life. I had so much to be proud of. So much I’d spent years working for. But, I was proud of myself for being willing to take the day off and come spend it with my mom. And spend it doing nothing for that matter.
We were out shopping at her favorite boutique, and afterward I planned to take her down to her favorite little bistro for a late lunch. It was a quiet day for the two of us, but it was fun, and I enjoyed hearing how things were going in her life right now outside of her health. I always found time to bring it up when we were together. I wanted her to keep me in the loop over what was going on, and I didn’t want her to feel like she was being a burden to me by having to be the one to bring it up herself, so I was always the one who made the effort to ask her what was going on and what the next plan was.
“Are you going to talk about the fall with the doctor?” I pressed.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m sure being in the ER for any reason they tell everyone else you see. If he doesn’t know about it already I might bring it up, but I didn’t fall down because of the cancer, dammit. I fell because I’m dumb enough to try to carry all those groceries in one trip.”
“Still, I would like for you to keep up with your routine checks,” I told her. “The reason it went so well the first time was because of how soon you caught it.”
“And I’ll thank you for being the one to push me into going to the doctor for a routine checkup in the first place,” she said. “I’ve never been one to keep up on those, so I’m glad you made me go. Even if it did cost me my tits.”
“I’m proud of you. Especially when it comes to all that you’ve been through in the past few years. I really can’t believe you’re still so cheerful with all that’s gone down.”
“I’ve got no other option,” she said. “But I can tell you right now, I wouldn’t have been nearly so cheerful about anything if it wasn’t for you. You really have been my rock and my light in all this. I don’t know if I would have made it far through the initial diagnoses let alone a mastectomy if I didn’t have you right there by my side throughout everything.”
“Of course, Mom,” I told her. “I promised you the day you told me you had cancer that I would be there for you through the thick and the thin. I don’t care how long it takes to get you back to healthy, I’m here every step of the way.”
“I’m glad you said healthy and not normal. Not sure how normal I’ll ever be again without the girls on my chest. I’m still getting used to not only not wearing a bra, but not even needing to wear one,” she said.
“They’re just boobs, Mom.” I rolled my eyes. “We can get you another pair. Insurance will cover it.”