I held up my glass to the empty room in a salute. “That’s why we are here. To figure it out. Let’s do it.”
Periodically, I hopped up to get more food. In between the side salads, pan-seared chicken, French apple cake, and more glasses of wine, we laid our cards on the table, metaphorically. We talked about what happened in Vegas, and the short weeks we’d spent together. We talked about Eric’s assertion that our mutual feelings had caused their breakup.
I thought the weasel was still trying to deflect blame, but I sort of liked his logic. I liked what it implied. What I already knew; that Jillian and I had always been meant for each other, and we had just needed to get Eric out the way to see it. And, as it turned out, to get out of our own way.
As the night wound down, Jillian and I had gotten close to regaining our easy rapport, but we were reaching the crucial moment. For what felt like the third or fourth time since Vegas, we were at the point where we had to make a decision. I knew what I wanted, but Jillian had always been the more hesitant one. I couldn’t tell which way she was leaning and that uncertainty terrified me.
“I know I suggested this before. But I’m going to try again. Maybe it would be for the best if we started over,” she offered, unexpectedly. “File the annulment, give it some time for the dust to settle with your brother, and then we go on a date.”
I pretended to give it some thought. Briefly. It wasn’t a bad deal, all things considered. But I couldn’t do it.
“You know what? No. Screw that.”
Jillian blinked rapidly. “Excuse me?”
“I don’t want to move backwards. I don’t want to go on another first date with you. I’m already in love with you. I’mmarriedto you. I’ve known for over a year how perfect we could be together, and for those few weeks, we confirmed it. I think that deep down you don’t want to end it or undo it either. Otherwise, you would have given me the papers immediately. But no. That night in Vegas happened the way it did because we were finally being honest with ourselves and each other about what we wanted. No lying, no pretending. No worrying about what everyone else expected or thought. I wish I could be that way every day. It took me years to tell my parents that I didn’t want to run the restaurant. It took me a year to admit my feelings for you. If I sign these papers, I would be being dishonest again. No more.”
Jillian flushed. “Dean…I’m trying here. I’m trying to meet you halfway, to find a way to keep you in my life. But you can’t really think we should just skip straight to marriage. Not really. It’s crazy…we don’t know for sure if this will work long-term. You’ll change your mind after a month.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, meeting her eyes defiantly.
I had one major card left to play. I pulled the small box from my pocket and set it directly in front of Jillian. I opened the top and slid it closer, so she couldn’t avoid looking at the contents. The candlelight bounced off the flawless center stone.
Jillian’s hand flew to her mouth, and I saw her swallow hard. But she hadn’t run out screaming, at least.
Grabbing her hand, I leaned closer. “I picked it out a few weeks ago. As my wife, I always intended to get you a real ring. You deserve something more than those cheap bands. But mostly I wanted to convince you how serious I am about this. It’s not a joke to me. And now, with everything that’s happened, it feels like it could be a good new beginning. My way—no silly dating, but a renewed commitment, one we make while sober for a change.”
“It’s beautiful,” Jillian whispered. “But…wow. I didn’t expect…I don’t even know what to say.”
I stood and moved to her side, never letting her hand go. “Easy. Say that you’ll stay married to me.”
CHAPTER17
Jillian
Ifelt like I was watching myself from across the room as I slid the ring onto my finger. Like it was someone else having this crazy, perfect, romantic moment. With the perfect, sweet and handsome guy. Because…it couldn’t be me that it was happening to. It didn’t make any sense. This morning I had been single and miserable.
Of course, like everything else tonight, the ring was perfect. It fit my finger perfectly. The simple, elegant design fit my style perfectly. I’d never really imagined my dream ring, but if I had, it would have been this ring.
Which, in a way, was what sealed the deal. Not the ring itself, but how well Dean knew me. How he had known that backing off and taking my offer to start over was the wrong path. It was all or nothing with us, and he had upped the ante with the ring, just like he had by getting us to the chapel to begin with. He constantly pushed me. He could see right through me in a way that no one else had ever been able to. He alone knew what I wanted, and needed, often before I did.
He had been right. I didn’t want to end our marriage, as insane as it was. Even at my lowest, the thought had tied my stomach up in knots. I didn’t even want to start over with him. I had just needed to see that same, never-ending belief in us that Dean had always displayed, without fail. I hadn’t known that was what I was looking for, but he had come through again.
It was my turn to come through for him. I let Dean pull me to my feet and put my other hand in his. Then I stood on my toes and leaned into him. “You’re right. I am in love with you. I want to be with you. So…Let’s really, really do this.” My voice was shaky with emotion.
His eyes lit up, and I practically melted. “Yeah?”
In answer, I closed the distance between us and captured his lips with my own. It could have been the romantic setting and breathtaking ring turning me into a sappy lovesick cliché, but my single rational thought was that kissing Dean again felt like coming home.
And any last vestiges of doubt evaporated.
We stood wrapped around each other for what felt like forever, seemingly trying to devour each other, until Dean broke away. “I’d love to finish this here and now, believe me, but health code is a thing. Just give me a second and we can get out of here,” he said, breathlessly.
I touched my swollen lips and played with my sparkly ring while Dean ran around blowing out candles and shutting things off in record time. He left the plates and glasses where they were on the table, and then hurried me out the door without a second look.
My apartment was closer, so we took my car straight there. The entire way Dean clutched my hand like he was afraid I’d change my mind and try to run away.
Not gonna happen.