I meandered around the room, working off the nervous energy by tweaking insignificant details for the tenth time. And then, right on time, the front door opened.
“Hello? Dean?” Jillian’s soft voice rang out. “What’s going on? Why is it so dark? Do I have the wrong time?”
“No, you’re right on time,” I answered, walking out of the shadows to meet her.
“Oh…hi. Umm…Are you guys closed? I thought we were going to have dinner or something.” Her face was screwed up into an adorably confused expression.
Instead of answering right away, I followed her gaze around the restaurant, watching her take stock of the atmosphere. I had turned most of the overhead lights off, leaving just the dim wall sconces on. That, along with the scattered candles and flickering fake fire in the corner gave the room a soft, vaguely romantic feel. Additionally, all but one of the tables and chairs in the main seating area had been pushed to the edges, effectively creating a small island. The table was prepared with the nicest place settings we had, a vase overflowing with fresh flowers, and a bottle of vintage wine.
I could see realization dawning on Jillian’s face, but either she was at a loss for words, or she was carefully choosing them.
“We are technically closed, but we are also having dinner. I had the chef leave us something in the kitchen. I thought it would be better if we had some privacy,” I jumped in, attempting to diffuse the growing silence.
She chewed on her bottom lip. “That’s…fine, I guess. I mean, it makes sense. You didn’t need to do all of this, though. I didn’t want to put anyone out.”
“It’s no problem at all. Tuesday nights are slow anyway. So…have a seat, and I’ll go get the appetizers. And feel free to pour yourself some wine,” I told her, gesturing at our table.
Then I turned and hurried away, letting out the deep breath I’d been holding in since first seeing her again.
When I returned a minute later, laden with smoked salmon bites, Jillian was dutifully seated primly in one chair, sipping the Bordeaux I knew she loved. The sight of her there, so close again, nearly buckled my knees, so I paused for a second to recover. She looked gorgeous, as always, but the candlelight made her literally glow.
God, I had missed her so much. Just being around her, talking to her. We had been friends, sort of, for over a year, I had gotten used to having her around. And even if she ultimately kicked me to the curb once and for all, I was still ecstatic to see her tonight.
Clearing my throat so as not to surprise her, I leaned over and placed the plates on the table. Then I slid into the seat across from her and poured my own glass. I motioned for her to dig in, knowing how much she liked chef’s food, and for five long minutes we ate in silence.
The foodwasgreat, and I’d barely eaten all day, so I was starving. But the tension built the longer we avoided addressing each other, at least in my mind. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I set my fork down. “So…”
And at the precise moment, Jillian abruptly spoke. “We should probably…”
Our nervous laughter filled the quiet room. “You asked to meet, you start,” I said.
“Fair enough. I guess I just wanted to clear the air. Hear your side of things, once and for all. You are my husband; I should give you that chance,” she said, her lips quirking.
My shoulders eased at her joke. I motioned for her to continue, and picked up another salmon bite, able to enjoy it once more.
Jillian started in and we talked. And talked. She told me about her conversation with my brother, both conversations actually. Hearing about the first one made me want to hunt him down all over again, but then as she shared the details of their second talk, I found myself stunned, but grudgingly impressed.
Once she was done sharing her side of things, I took the opportunity to fill in some of the blanks. “Yes, in the spirit of honesty, there were times I suspected, but I never knew anything for sure. Not until about a week before you did. I confronted Eric the night I saw him kiss Emily goodnight and told him that he had to tell you right away. He swore that he would, and like an idiot I believed him. That’s why I didn’t say anything. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t want you to associate me with his mess, or to think that I might have…ulterior motives. Which, obviously, I sort of did. It seemed easier to stay out of it until he manned up.”
“I get it. It wasn’t a fun situation for anyone,” Jillian said, calmly. “Can I ask about the day I caught them together, though. What happened there?”
I winced, still feeling awful for my part in that. “I lost it. I don’t have any other real excuse. When you first texted me for his key, I assumed he had come clean, you two had broken up, and you wanted to get some of your stuff while he was out or something. But then you started talking about his surprise party, and I realized you had no idea. That he hadn’t told you. And I selfishly decided that his time was up. It never occurred to me that he’d be sleeping with her in the middle of the day, I swear. I just thought you’d find some evidence of their affair. A note, some pictures, maybe a bra, I don’t know how these things work. If I had thought for one second you would see them like that…I never would have given you the key. I hope you know that.”
Jillian took another long gulp of wine, and I suspected that, unfortunately, she was mentally replaying that horrific afternoon again. I hated that he was still hurting her.
But then, finally, she smiled my way. An authentic smile. And it was stunning.
“Thank you for telling me the truth. I should have let you explain it to me that day, instead of just trusting Eric.”
I snorted. “Don’t thank me. I messed up. In a lot of ways. Not telling you right away. Not telling the truth afterwards. Not being truthful with my family, I could have handled things better.”
“Like… by not drunkenly marrying me?” she asked.
She was grinning, though, I so knew it wasn’t accusatory.
“No. that was the one thing I got right. Thatwegot right. I still stand by that.”
Jillian shook her head. “Your certainty is terrifying. I’m not mad at you anymore, but we have a lot to work out before we can even consider…us.”