“Yes, no. I don’t know,” I mumble.
Beau sits down beside me on the stone step. The scent of his aftershave is very alluring, but I quickly ignore it because it’s just another reminder of what’s missing in my life. He pulls out a cigarette. Ugh … what a disgusting habit.
“You don’t have to put this pressure on yourself.” He puffs.
I shake my head. “What are you talking about?”
“The pressure to live up to your siblings. Thinking you’re disappointing your parents.”
“I … I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie.
“Hey,” he calls softly. “Look at me.”
Slowly, I shift my eyes from the vineyard and stare into his eyes. Something unusual passes between us in a moment of silence, but I tell myself my emotions are all over the place. Nothing makes sense, but everything is crystal clear at the same time. Again, all over the place because that doesn’t make sense.
“You, Alexa Edwards, are going to do great things. One day it will just fall into place.”
“What will fall into place?”
“Life,” he answers with his lips curving up into a warm smile, followed by a puff of smoke expelling from his mouth. “Whatever it is you’re meant to do or meant to be, it will all just fall into place. Fuck everyone, just live life on your terms.”
“How do you know? Are you living life on your terms?”
“I’m wise, a whole four months older than you.” He chuckles, then knocks my shoulder gently with his. “C’mon, I’ve been around your dad long enough to know the real problem here. You’re both equally as stubborn as each other.”
“I am not stubborn,” I almost yell, his eyes widening in surprise with a grin accompanying it. “That’s not a nice thing to say to a woman.”
He rubs his chin, looking oddly handsome at this moment. “Yeah, but I think of you like a sister, so it’s fine to call you that.”
And that’s my cue to stop all these maddening thoughts.
A sister … of course. As I said, we were forced to play nice and taught the importance of family from a young age.
“I guess I better go back before they start calling me the black sheep of the family. Wait, maybe it’s too late for that.”
Beau reaches out to grab my wrist to stop me. My eyes fall to where his hand grips. At the same time, I fight back the sensations spreading across my entire body. The temperature around me elevates, making it hard to breathe. He’s family … he thinks of me like a sister.
“You’re never alone. Just remember that.”
My eyes dart toward his, matching his deep stare.Why is he looking at me this way? Like there’s something he wants to say but can’t.
“I know,” I say in a whisper as he releases the grip on my wrist.
“Good.” He almost chokes on his response like he’s struggling with his thoughts, but then he pulls himself out by taking another drag. “Until next time, Alexa.”
I nod, then smile. “Yeah, next time. Maybe lay off the smoking if you wanna live, though.”
A smirk spreads across his face before he extinguishes the cigarette on the ground. His eyes slowly drag to meet mine as he bites the corner of his lip.
“See, you break one bad habit and need another.”
“Maybe you think you need something bad, but again, another habit to break.”
The hazel orbs stare back at me, silent but heavy in a weighted gaze. “You know me, can’t stay good for too long.”
At least the bad boy knows his weakness.
But maybe, it’s not a weakness and his strength. Guards up, never get hurt.