“Seeing you talk to them like that reminded me of how you used to talk to me.”
“I told you, I let that hate go. It’ll never be like that again between us.”
“But how can I be sure? How can I admit to loving you if I always have that fear?”
His concerned frown turns into a triumphant smile. “You love me?”
Shit.
“That’s not the point.” I try to play it off, but of course, Colt has no intention of letting it go.
“Well, it should be because that’s all that matters. I love you, and you love me. Why should we let the past get in the way of us being together now?”
“Because I’m scared that our past will be our future. I can’t go through that again, not after everything that’s happened. If you turned your back on me now, I don’t think I would survive it.” That’s it. I’m putting everything on the table. My darkest fear, my deepest thoughts. We had to go through hell to get here, but now we’ve made it. We came out on the other side together.
“It won’t be. I just know it, and if I have to, I’ll spend the next twenty years proving it to you. I love you, Leni. I want to be with you, and I won’t ever do anything to hurt you again. I swear.”
“I love you too.” The words have barely left my mouth when Colt’s lips are on mine. He buries his hand in my hair, pulling me closer into the searing kiss.
He holds my heart in his hand, and now it’s up to him to keep it safe.
EPILOGUE
ONE MONTH LATER.
“Are you ready for this?” I take Colt’s hand and find it damp with sweat. It’s not difficult to imagine why he’s feeling this way. It’s been years since he last saw his mother in person, and she’s still comatose. There’s a good chance she always will be, thanks to how badly James beat her all those years ago.
But she’s alive and here in a hospital only a few minutes from his apartment. It took a lot of work, a lot of phone calls, and arrangements, but he managed to get her moved from the hospital in Florida, where James had stashed her.
He takes a deep, shaky breath. “She won’t even know I’m here. It doesn’t really matter.”
“It matters a lot. And you never know. They say people in comas can hear what goes on around them.” I mean, I’ve heard it before. I don’t know if it applies in this situation, but I can’t let him keep feeling this way without at least trying to help.
“Let’s do this.” He blows out a long sigh before leading me into the hospital room, holding a bouquet of her favorite flowers in the other hand. Lilies. It was important to him that she had her favorite flowers.
I feel like I shouldn’t breathe too loudly once we’re inside the room. It’s like entering some sacred space, breaking into this poor woman’s peace. She’s in her bed, of course, with a tube in her throat and various monitors beeping all around her.
She’s the woman from the picture, only she isn’t. Older, for one thing. Her face is relaxed—that big, winning smile is gone. But it’s her, and now I see the resemblance between her and her sons.
“Mom.” Colt’s fingers tighten around mine as we move closer to the bed. “It’s me. It’s Colt. I’m here. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m here.”
He leaves the flowers on the table next to the bed before sitting in a chair at her side. He rubs his hands together, obviously nervous. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to find you. We wanted to for a really long time. Me and Nix.” His voice catches on the name. “But I found you. And now I’ll be able to see you all the time. You get to hear me talking about nothing important. Aren’t you lucky?”
I can’t help but smile, even with tears in my eyes. I’ve been standing back, away from them, but he waves me closer. “Mom. You remember Leni Peters? I remember you saying she had the best floor routine you ever saw.” I stare at him in surprise—he never told me that.
“She’s safe,” he whispers, taking her hand in both of his. “We both are. He’s gone now. I don’t know if you can hear me, but he’s gone. He’s never going to hurt anybody again. Only…”
He hangs his head for a moment, and I can feel his sorrow. “Only the cops think it was Nix who did it. I don’t believe them. It’s been a whole month, and I haven’t heard anything from him. They’re trying to say he set an explosion in the kitchen at the house. That was what killed him. They’re saying Nix was there, in the kitchen; that was where they found him. But I don’t believe it.”
It hurts to hear him say that. Even after a month, he refuses to believe Nix set the explosion. Even though the third body—Nix’s body—was found in the kitchen. It was never identified as Nix. That’s the problem. There was too much damage.
So long as there’s no positive identification, he has hope. I almost wish he didn’t. He can’t move on if there’s no closure.
He talks to her for a long time while I sit and listen. And think. About what she lost. What we all lost. I lost the opportunity to settle things with my mother. I never had the chance to tell her I understood how she could be blinded by a man like James. He basically love-bombed her from the minute he figured out she was my mom. I’m still not even sure how he ended up hiring her or what brought them together. She never did tell me, and she never will.
Neither will he.
I don’t know if it makes me a bad person or what, but I can’t bring myself to care much about James dying. I’m glad he’s not here anymore; that’s about it. I do wish Nix could’ve waited until Mom was out and safe, but… something tells me she might not have made it out, anyway. She could’ve ended up like this poor woman before me. In a hospital bed, unable to move or speak.