"You could always come out with me one night," I offer casually. Hesitantly. Because I miss my brother, and it feels like I haven't seen him without a wife or a baby in almost two years.
Tommy winces as he pulls his arm back. "Sorry, D, nights are my time with the baby. At least for now." Guilt morphs his expression as he looks at me, and his voice is hopeful as he asks, "Maybe when Jenny gets a little older? Or you could always come over to the house. I brewed this new beer that I think you’ll like." His expression becomes excited, the same way it always does when he talks about his beer-brewing hobby. “It’s way too sour for my taste, but knowing you eat Warheads like Tic Tacs, you’d probably love it.”
Externally, I plaster a smile onto my face. Internally, I deflate. Not because of his answer, but because no matter how many times I ask, a part of me always hopes it will be a different one.
And lately I've felt more and more desperate for it, for some reason.
"Sure, that sounds fun. You know I prefer Jenny's silent company to your new shitty dad-jokes, anyway."
He lets out a loud, relieved laugh at that. "You're still an asshole, Dani."
"Alright, enough with the language," Mom scolds, handing the baby to Rachel. "She's going to be repeating everything before you know it, and then you'll be screwed." She hustles over to the oven just as the timer goes off. "Dinner's ready. Everyone can take a seat at the table."
A few minutes later, once everyone has heaped food onto their plates and Mom has finally settled into her seat after getting everyone else comfortable, Rachel turns her attention to me and asks, "So Dani… any upcoming trips for you?"
I chew a bite of potatoes thoughtfully before answering, "A few local ones for work. Beyond that, only idea I'm tossing around is popping over to Finland in December. I've been dying to see Lapland and the Northern Lights."
My idea is met with only understanding nods. My family is more than used to me randomly picking a place in the world and traveling there on my own. This particular location is one of my tamer ideas. They learned a long time ago that I don't respond well to worried looks—and definitely not to being told Ishouldn't.
"That sounds so fun," Rachel says with a smile. "You'll have to send us pictures of the reindeer if you go." She hesitates a moment, pushing the potatoes around on her plate, before asking quietly, "Your brother says there's a resort in the Bahamas that you loved. Do you remember what it was called?"
"Yeah, in Nassau. Why? You guys planning a vacation?"
Rachel and my brother exchange a look. "Yeah, I think we want to fit a trip in with the three of us before… things get a little crazy."
I look at my brother in confusion. "What's getting crazy? Work?"
Tommy's still looking at Rachel as he answers. "Not exactly," he says quietly.
My parents and I only stare at him expectantly.
"Umm," he starts, then swallows roughly. He stares at his wife for another moment before turning to us and announcing bluntly, "Rachel's pregnant. Again."
All eyes snap to Rachel, and then to the five-month-old currently laughing and tossing peas all over the floor.
"Oh my God," my mom whispers. And then… "Oh myGod!Oh my God, congratulations!!" Before anyone else can react, she's jumping up from her chair and launching herself at her daughter-in-law. "You're having another baby!"
Rachel lets out a choked sob as her arms wrap around my mom. "Iknow.God, I'm going to have two under two. Am I completely insane?"
"Oh honey, you're going to be amazing," my mom says as she pulls back, tears shining in her eyes. "I'm so happy for you."
Dad and I finally overcome our shock. While he stands from his chair and approaches Rachel with a hug of his own, I'm looking at Tommy and saying, "Well done, bro. Guess the swimmers are doing what they need to."
"Dani," my mom hisses in scolding.
I wince and stand from my chair, rounding the table so I can punch my brother in the arm. "In all seriousness, congratulations. That's amazing."
He aims a relieved but nervous smile my way. "Thanks, Dani. It's no Finland, but…"
Rolling my eyes, I punch him again. "Yeah, the North Pole is way better than a baby. You're an idiot."
Except, I understand what he's trying to do. And I give him a tiny, thankful smile that only he can see for it.
He knows I can't keep up with this level of adulting. That I don't understand settling down like this. He says baby, and I hearI can never go out for a beer with my brother ever again.And he's trying to make me feel less guilty about thinking that way.
"Well, this calls for a celebration," my mom interrupts, trying to hide that she's wiping a tear away. She claps her hands together in excitement. "Everybody, keep eating your dinner. I'm going to make my famous apple pie to celebrate."
Around the table, everyone bites down on their smiles to hide them from my mom. At the fact that her solution to good news,anygood news, is to whip up something sugar filled.