I drew my face back and stamped my foot indignantly. “You…pretended? You lost thousands of games over how many years…but you were never really that bad? Just so I would keep teaching you?”
“You forget I was friends with Biko long before you started coming around. I’d been playing backgammon in that cabin for years.” Syndrian looked down at his hands, an endearingly sweet gesture. “You were so passionate, Pali. You touched my hand and shoved my arm…moved close to me to show me the best moves. My pride didn’t suffer from the losing scores,” he explained.
“But my heart couldn’t have tolerated losing your instruction. By the time I was maybe eighteen, I figured you were on to my farce.” He laughed, his sweet smile and clear happiness brightening the darkness that plagued my mind. “What really convinced me to play seriously was Biko. He threatened to tell you everything. He grew so bored of my lovesick games.”
I studied his face, resisting the urge to stroke the silky strands that had fallen loose from his ponytail. But then my passion got the better of me. My patience was frayed. My plans had turned to dust. I was without a home. Without the support of my family—the Lombards, at least. Without any means or the hope to recover an independent, free life. If my mother did accept me back, I would be essentially accepting my engagement. The path my parents wanted for me. Nothing was left for me to hold on to. Nothing except the one thing that I truly wanted.
I tossed the blanket aside and plucked the hairs away from his face. Then I scooted closer and cupped his cheeks. “I for once am tired of games. Tired to death, Syndrian.”
He fluttered his eyes shut as I stroked the stubble on his face. “Then play no more, Pali. What will you do? What do you want? Efimia is yours for the taking.”
I shook my head. “All I want is you,” I confessed. “All I’ve ever wanted is you.” I leaned toward Syndrian as he leaned toward me.
Our noses bumped, but he held my face and pressed our foreheads together.
“Would you really leave with me?” I asked. “Run off…leaving Biko and Flynn, your friends and your parents?”
“After the tournament, yes,” he said.
“By then it will be too late,” I said. “My father has decided who I am to marry. I should go home tonight and accept their choice, or play the tournament and commit to any future except the path my parents have cleared.”
Syndrian swallowed hard, a shiver rocking his solid form. “Pali.” A gentle puff of his breath rose like smoke in the cool air. “The entanglements with the Otleiches reach further than you know. Yours is not the only family they seek to control.”
My eyes flew open, and I pulled my face away from his. “You? Your family? Are you in any danger from them, Syndrian?”
He shook his head sadly. “It is only because of the work I do for them that I can keep my family safe.”
“You cannot flee this shire, then,” I said quietly. “Running off with me would be wrong. You must fulfill your duty to your family. If that means you are not meant for me, then I must accept the loss with grace.”
“No.” He stood from the steps and took my hand. My body fell against his as if for the last time. My skin, my limbs, even my hair seemed tossed against him, seeking one more kiss. One more embrace. “I will never, ever let them take you from me. Not the Lombards. Not the Otleiches. If you want me, I am yours.”
I wrapped my hands behind his neck and pulled him close. Then I crushed my lips against his, tasting, seeking, exploring, desperate to remember everything about this man. “I want you. Now and forever. By the gods, I’ve never wanted anything more.”
He spoke quickly between kisses, his teeth clacking against mine in our frenzy of passion. “And you’re certain?” He breathed the words between kisses. “Even if I have not yet won your heart, you have forever claimed mine.”
This was the most dramatic move I’d made in my life. The biggest gamble. The scariest strategy. But if it meant saving myself from a loveless marriage and spending a lifetime with this man…like this…I was more than ready to take that leap.
“There is only one for me,” I vowed, weaving my fingers through his hair and holding tight. “There is only you and always you. Now I need you to help me. How do we win this?”
ChapterThirteen
The next morning, after thanking Neo and his wife for their hospitality, I climbed on Rowan’s back and headed home alone. Syndrian and I had a plan, but I would need to play my part perfectly. At any point, anything could go wrong, and I would be—well, I would be married off to Emeric Otleich. This was the tournament that truly mattered. The stakes were my life, and I’d never felt more prepared to play and win it all.
I rode back to the Lombard manor early in the morning before the household was awake. The doors were locked, but Syndrian had given me a lockpick and shown me how to use it. After breaking into my own home, I went quietly upstairs to my room. Even Norwin was not yet tottering through the main hall, so I had no one to make excuses to. I packed all my money, along with my backgammon board and dice, and prepared a large cask of water. I dressed carefully for the plans I’d made during the long hours when I’d paced the sitting room with Syndrian last night.
But of course, once I was ready to leave, Lady Lombard stopped me. “Palmeria, wait. Please.”
I turned on the steps, my arms full, but did not approach her. “I will be back, Mother,” I said quietly. “I’m prepared to follow through with the plans you and my father have for me. After I do just one thing for myself. One thing I wish to do.”
“What might that be?” My mother glared at me, her teeth bared. “Run off and marry the cutler boy?”
I looked down at my hands and shook my head. “I wish to play in a backgammon tournament. That’s all. It is tonight, and I expect to win a little money to replace what I spent on the…item that’s burned.”
“I see.” She softened, but only slightly. “And is the crofter boy hurt? Was the healer able to help him?”
I nodded. “He was badly hurt, and he and Idony are still there receiving care. He’s expected to recover.”
“Y-you must know I—” she stammered, flushing angrily. “I never intended to put you or that crofter in mortal danger. I lost control of my temper, which is the very reason such things are so dangerous. Now, perhaps, you understand what your father and I have tried to teach you all these years.”