Syndrian laughed. “We all do, my friend. Go on now.”
Once the child went off to bed, Flynn and Antonia, the Oderisi butler, returned to the sitting room with bedding.
“You should go home,” Syndrian told his brother. “Mum’ll be worried.”
Flynn nodded. “I’ll take one of Neo’s horses home and tell them you’re here. I’ll be back here tomorrow morning to work anyway.” He slapped his brother’s back in a half hug and bid the rest of us good night.
Idony set to tucking Biko into one of the settees for the night.
“Might I step outside?” I asked Antonia. “I’m curious about the mist I saw on the plants.”
Syndrian took my hand. “You’re hurt. We should have Odile look at your knees.”
“I need some air,” I said.
Antonia nudged us both from the sitting room. “Go ahead. Syndrian can explain about the blood moss. Or you can just take some time to enjoy it. I’ll settle Idony and Biko, then make up beds for you. You’ll all be safe here tonight.”
Syndrian held open the front door, and we stepped outside under the stars. The Oderisi estate was ablaze with light from torches just like those my mother had extinguished on our property. A cold chill ran down my spine, and I shivered.
“Why did Idony come here tonight?” I asked. “What business called her away from the cottage and to this place? Biko said she’d taken all their money.”
He nodded. “If I had to guess, she was looking for a way to fix that mask of yours. Fix it or replace it.”
“I thought that was impossible.” I scratched the toe of my shoe against the smooth gray stones and stared off into the red mist hovering over the Oderisi grounds.
“A night or so after the goblins were killed, Neo and Brex went to the lair.” He chuckled. “They went on their wedding night, as a matter of fact. And they saved the only survivor. Brought him here to recover.”
A few days ago, the news that a goblin had survived and been brought to these very grounds might have given me renewed hope. Passion that I might yet repair the mask and put my plans into place. But the mask was gone. Burned by my mother’s fire. I felt the exact same way: ruined, charred, my vitality and drive reduced to ash.
“Did the survivor recover?” I asked. “Not that I’d seek him out,” I added. “I think my time with the goblins is better left in the past.”
“He did recover. And Neo was able to deliver him back to Skickligera, the goblins’ mountain outpost.”
I nodded. “That is excellent news. I hope the poor soul was reunited with loved ones.” I felt my lower lip tremble, but I bit it.
The time for tears was over. Biko was safe. We’d all been cast aside. Nothing would ever be the same as it was. I assumed my mother had not intended to toss me aside forever. If I returned home, willing to accept my future, my place in this realm, I was certain she would take me back. She had to. My father seemed single-minded in his intention to marry me off. I was certain that despite how horrific tonight had been that my mother wouldn’t risk everything that was riding on my betrothal for the pleasure of disowning me.
I couldn’t hope that the same forgiveness or compromise might be offered to Biko and Idony. I could only pray that once I was established as lady of the manor, I might be in a position to reinstate them, or to find them other means of supporting them. Anything else was simply too painful to consider.
As if he could read my thoughts, Syndrian, his voice thick with emotion, broke through my sadness. “You know, if I could, I’d take you away from this. I’d leave tonight. With you.”
I turned to face him. “You’d have to return,” I reminded him. “You have a family, a job… You cannot compromise your life to be my cart driver, Syndrian.”
“No,” he said, his sky-blue eyes bright as he searched my face. “I would give it all up. Everything. Not to drive you. To be yours. Your husband, your partner. Forever, Pali. We could disappear. Together.” He sounded so shy, so hopeful, my heart nearly burst with longing.
After all the years of quiet yearning, to hear him say those words…I should have been filled with hope and joy. Love and excitement. Instead, all I felt was doom.
“You do not want that, Syndrian.” I sunk down on the stone steps and rested my face in my hands. “You do not want a life of running. A life of lies.”
He dropped beside me and leaned toward me, his left knee against my right. “If I speak of what I want, you’ll never look at me the same way again.”
The stars seemed to sparkle above us, the sky a much kinder companion now that the creatures of the darkness did not hide in its murky depths. I laced my hands together. “Now that I’ve seen you shirtless, I’ll definitely never look at you the same way again.”
Syndrian barked a laugh and reached for my chin. He lifted it so our eyes met. “Do you remember how terrible I was at backgammon?”
“Terrible?” I echoed. “You were unteachable! For the entirety of my teens, I was terrified you weren’t very interested in something I loved so deeply.” I softened my words with a grin. “Handsome, sweet, extremely intelligent, and yet…”
“Hopelessly in love with the girl teaching me backgammon,” he confessed, curling his lips. “I had to work incredibly hard to look that confused about the rules.”