Before long, he was kissing between my breasts, and down the center of my abdomen until his mouth was skimming the top of my bikini bottoms. He brushed his fingers along my outer thighs until he was gripping my hips, pulling me closer to him. He pushed his fingers inside my bikini bottoms and was about to pull them down when I threw my hands on top of his to stop him.
“Wait,” I cried out, panicking, realizing things were advancing far too fast. I wasn’t ready for this.
“Goddess, I want you so badly,” he moaned.
“I can’t,” I breathed, sitting up. He looked at me, appearing frustrated. I suddenly felt very naked and exposed, and tied up the strings of my bikini, covering myself again. “I’m sorry.” We sat there like that for what seemed like several minutes. I looked at him wondering what he was thinking. Would he be upset?
Finally, he responded, “You don’t need to apologize. Let’s just eat lunch and hopefully my massive boner will get the hint.” I looked down to see that it appeared he had pitched a huge tent, his erection stretching his boxer briefs to the point I was surprised they hadn’t ripped. “Like I said, alpha genetics.” He smirked, clearly noticing I was staring.
I felt myself go red and the need to change the subject. “So, what’s for lunch?”
“Salami sandwiches.” He reached into his backpack to pull them out.
“I’m starting to assume the only food you know how to make is sandwiches.” I chuckled.
“Your assumption would be correct. Now either enjoy what you’re getting, or you make the lunch next time.”
“There’s nothing wrong with sandwiches. But I’d be happy to make something different for next time.”
“Sounds like you enjoyed this time then, seeing as you’re already committing to a next time.” He winked at me. I pushed him on his shoulder and then bit into my sandwich, realizing how hungry the morning had made me.
We sat side by side as we ate in the shade, shielded from the aggressive rays of the sun. I reflected on our conversation from earlier, suddenly having a strong desire to ask Blake to elaborate on something he’d said. When we both finished our food, I spoke his name to grab his attention. “Blake?”
“Yes?” he responded.
“Earlier you said that you’ve told me things you haven’t been able to talk to anyone else about. What did you mean by that?”
He looked out toward the pond, picking up a pebble and throwing it into the water. He didn’t say anything at first, and I wondered if he had heard me. I was about to repeat my question when he finally spoke.
“When Ria died,” he started and then stopped, clenching his eyes closed. I instinctively covered his hand with mine, hoping it would comfort him, realizing that he was revealing something very painful. He took a deep breath, reopening his eyes, quickly glancing at me, and then stared forward again. “I went into survival mode. I was supposed to become alpha not long after graduating from high school, but everything just went dark and I couldn’t.” He sighed. “That’s why I went away for four years.”
I moved closer to him, rubbing his back, and I could feel his body relax as I did this. He continued, “I haven’t talked to anyone about what happened. You’re the first person I’ve been able to talk to about it, to say her name to. Just saying her name is painful.” His voice broke as he spoke.
“Goddess, Blake,” I said, feeling deep empathy for him.
“It’s not just that,” he continued. “I feel like the old me when I’m around you. I didn’t think I’d ever feel happy again, but being around you...,” he trailed. “Well, anyway, I hope that answers your question.” He turned to me, his mouth turned upwards. But I didn’t fail to notice that his eyes were bloodshot, his posture drooped. I was caught by surprise. He always seemed so put together, but I now realized how little I knew about him, and how much he must have been suffering inside.
I boldly inched my face toward his, moved by Blake’s confession. Sitting up on my knees to reach, I gently pecked his lips. He instantly pulled me against him and deepened the kiss. So many emotions came over me as our lips moved together, a pang in my heart, struggling to breathe from how heavy my lungs felt. It was as if he was transferring some of his pain to me and I was swallowing it, lessening the burden for him. He clung tightly to me, and I could sense deep down that Blake was never vulnerable like this with anyone else.
As much as I fought to push everything I felt for him away, he had managed to bury himself within me. I was steps from falling for Blake and, dear Goddess, I didn’t know if I could stop myself from hurling myself off the cliff.
Chapter 14
Jasmine
AfewdaysafterBlake’s confession, I was lying in bed late at night, absorbed in a book, when I heard a tapping on my window.Ping. The sound of something hitting the glass clanged. I got out of bed to see what was happening, pulled back the curtains, and looked out my window to see that Blake was outside my house winding his arm back.Ping. A pebble hit my window. I opened it, the warm summer air entering my room, and poked my head out to see him smiling at me and waving his hand, signaling for me to come out.
What the...?
I stepped back, wondering what I should do. An internal battle ensued within me once again, the metaphorical angel and devil over my shoulders. I’d never snuck out of my house in my life. What would my parents do if they caught me? And should I really be sneaking around with someone, let alone someone who wasn’t my mate? But then, I thought, it would be exciting. So many years I’d denied myself so many things because I didn’t want my parents to be disappointed in me. Maybe Blake was right—what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. Plus, I was an adult now. I shouldn’t be allowing my parents to dictate my life!
Goddess, Blake is a terrible influence!
Once again, the devil won. What was it about Blake that made me just throw all caution to the wind? Seriously, what was wrong with me that I was just going along with everything he wanted me to do? I quickly changed what I was wearing and snuck downstairs quietly. My parents slept pretty soundly, so I didn’t think they’d hear me. Even if they did, they’d probably think I was grabbing a glass of water or midnight snack anyway. No, my parents definitely wouldn’t think I was sneaking out.
I crept out my back door through the kitchen, opening and shutting the door as quietly as possible, and made my way around the house to the front. When I got there, he was gone. I turned in circles, trying to follow his scent. Suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulders from behind and I screamed.
He quickly muffled the noise, covering my mouth with his hands. “Shhh, don’t get caught,” he whispered into my ear.