Jenny ignored him. “I understand she’s far more beautiful than I. How can anyone deny that fact? But you spoke of her as if she were nothing more than a woman with whom you were barely acquainted. Only I come to learn she was much more.”
“I cannot deny what you heard for yourself,” the earl said. “Lady Ayles and I once courted, but it was a very long time ago. What you heard was not agreement but rather a feeble attempt at sarcasm.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her to look at him. “Don’t you see? I never think of her, not in that way. I’ve no reason to do so.”
“Then why were you alone with her?” Jenny asked.
“She pulled me into the room using the same manipulation she always uses. I agreed with her only to end the conversation. But she’s gone now, and I don’t expect her to return.”
Jenny’s heart ached. She had one more question, and she hated to ask it. But if she did not, not knowing would defeat her. “Did you love her?”
The earl shook his head. “No. I swear to you that I had no love for her.”
The fire crackled, and Jenny turned to watch the flames once more. “I believe you.”
“I’m glad,” Lord Dowding said. “Now, what shall we do about this fake engagement?”
Jenny could not help but laugh. She had forgotten that small entanglement.
Well, perhaps that was untrue…
“I’m not sure.” She turned to face him once more. “But I can no longer accept a mere friendship. And this may sound mad because we’ve only recently met, but I’ve come to care for you. I would like to see us become more than friends. Whatever is holding you back, I only ask this. Can we use this engagement as a way to get to know one another better? Granted, we should be using a courtship for that purpose, but why not use it to further whatever it is we share? If we find we are incompatible, we go our separate ways. What do you think?”
His steady gaze made her uneasy. Would he throw her out of his home for being so forward? Would he leave her brokenhearted?
Lord Dowding sighed. “I have to admit that I, too, find our friendship difficult. You’re in my thoughts the moment I wake in the morning and as I fall asleep at night. Often, you appear in my dreams, as well. Your mere presence gives me hope in a world full of darkness.”
Jenny flushed with pleasure. “Indeed, the world can be a terrible place at times. But I can assure you, together we can make it brighter.”
His smile sent shivers down her spine. “I worry about the path that lies ahead of us. But I can no longer hide from the truth. You’re the only woman for whom I care. The only woman for whom I’ve ever cared. No longer shall I hide from my feelings for you, Miss Jenny.”
Her name on his lips made her heart soar, and she placed a hand in the one he offered her. A sense of safety settled over her.
“And now I wish to prove how much I trust you. How much I care for you.”
As he led her from the room, Jenny wondered what he had in mind. But as they ascended the stairs, worry settled into the pit of her stomach.
“You’re certain your sister will not come searching for you?”
Jenny swallowed hard. “The plan was for her to remain in the library until I came for her.”
“Good,” the earl said. “For I need you to forget polite manners and allow me to take you to my bedroom.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jenny glanced over her shoulder to watch the staircase disappear. “My lord, is there not a housemaid about?”
“They’ve been given a free afternoon,” Lord Dowding replied. “But don’t worry. No one will know you’re here.”
That was what terrified her as they walked up to a set of double doors at the end of the corridor. The earl’s bedroom was a manly abode with a large, dark four-poster bed, a wardrobe, and a chest of drawers.
The letter! The cosmetics! The perfume! Oh, she had made a terrible mistake. She might as well have held a sign to name her a harlot. How would she stop him from taking what he believed she had offered? After all, she had not stated outright that she meant a kiss.
That’s what you get for listening to Maria!
“Miss Jenny?” the earl asked as she stopped in the doorway. “Is something wrong?”
She blinked back tears.You’ve no one to blame but yourself for being in this situation!
“This won’t take long, I can assure you,” Lord Dowding said.