Jenny turned to face her headmistress. “I do, but she has to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. How can I possibly believe otherwise? Then I wondered if I was being a naïve girl. I’ve worked so hard at becoming a proper young lady, but there are times I worry I’ve fallen back into my old ways. How do I know which I am?”
Mrs. Rutley took hold of Jenny’s hands. “We all make mistakes in life. Some are poor choices while others may be believing what someone tells us when we should not. But neither defines the difference between a girl and a woman. What does is this. A child repeats the same mistakes time and again without thought of changing what she is doing. A woman, on the other hand, learns from her errors. You no longer do what you once did—such as intentionally dropping handkerchiefs to catch a gentleman’s attention.”
Jenny could not help but laugh. How silly she once had been! Now she beamed with pride. “Thank you, Mrs. Rutley. But I have one more question. How do you know if you’ve fallen in love?”
“That can be much more difficult to determine,” Mrs. Rutley said. “But I can tell you this. Just like everything you do in life, you must follow your heart, for it will always lead you where you need to go.”
Jenny threw her arms around her headmistress. “Thank you so much. I can always count on you to give me the best advice.” She shivered. “I think I’ll go inside now.”
Mrs. Rutley smiled. “Go on ahead. I’ll be along soon.”
When she reached the front door, Jenny paused on the portico and glanced over her shoulder. Mrs. Rutley stood looking at the oak tree, running her fingers over the carved initials. What could she be thinking? And why was she preparing her will?
Well, whatever it was, Jenny was certain that if Mrs. Rutley needed help, she would be there. Just as she had sworn that day beneath that very tree.
Chapter Fourteen
Gray clouds covered the sky, and the bitter wind promised harsh weather to come. Pulling his coat tighter against him, Nicholas surveyed the vast fields that were a part of his estate. His father had once taken Nicholas to this very spot, not a ten-minute carriage ride from the house.
“One day, Nicholas, you’ll live at Rosling Estate with your wife and children,” he said as he stood tall and proud beside Nicholas. “And all this will be yours.”
“Married?” Nicholas nearly choked. He was but nine! The idea of marrying a girl made him squirm as if he had sat on an anthill. “Must I? What if I want to be… not married? Can’t I stay that way?”
His father roared with laughter. “If you wish to be happy, then yes, you must marry. Otherwise, you may find yourself alone in the world.”
At the time, it had made little sense to the boy he was. Having a life that was all his was what would have made him happy. Then he would not have had to share everything with some girl.
How Nicolas wished his father were still alive. The last five years had been a blur since the man’s passing. Nicholas had devoted every moment in honoring his father’s dying wish. And once he had learned the fate of his sister, he moved on to avenge her death. For that is what his father would have wanted, Nicholas was sure. And what his sister deserved.
But now, with it all coming close to an end, he found something else in his life that occupied his mind. Or rather someone else. Miss Clifton. Tomorrow she would arrive in order to see if she could pass his test. He still was unsure if he had made the right decision in that regard. Although he swore his reason for not wanting her to attend had been a fear of what she might overhear, that was not the complete truth.
Each moment in her presence had Nicholas struggling with his growing attraction toward her. It was he, not Lord Tulk, who he feared would hurt her in the end. He did not want to be the one to prove to her how cruel the world truly was.
Plus,he thought wryly,I’m an earl. She comes from a family of the landed gentry. We’re separated by class and circumstance.
And she was young, to boot.
Yet Nicholas was not a fool. If he was not careful, he just might find himself ensnared in her beautiful trap. Then they both would be doomed.
He sighed. These were all excuses to fight what was happening inside him. His attraction to her was increasing with every breath, and it was becoming more and more difficult to push it aside. At least Miss Clifton had resigned herself to a simple friendship and nothing more.
Unlike himself.
Over the past days, images of Miss Clifton as his wife would appear in his thoughts, unbidden. But it was nothing but an absurd notion, for the truth was he could not give her what she wanted. What she needed.
Love.
The idea was tempting, certainly. So much so, in fact, that it kept him awake late into the night all too often.
But there were matters at hand before such consideration could be taken further.
Shoving his hands into his pocket, he walked to the nearby carriage where Tibbons stood waiting.
“We are drawing near the end,” Nicholas said. “I, for one, am relieved.”
“As I am, my lord,” Tibbons replied. “It’s been an interesting time though. But once it’s over and done with, you’ll be able to get on with your life.”
Nicholas nodded. “Indeed, I will,” he said as Miss Clifton came to mind. “There is much expected of me, Tibbons, marriage included.” Then a new thought came to mind. It concerned the school and the headmistress. “Did you know Phillip Rutley as a child? Did you and Father not play in the woods with him as children as well?”