“But I know I’m not wrong.” He said loud enough for me to hear as I walked away from him.
I was pissed at this point and didn’t waste any time ordering a shot and a drink. What just happened? It took me a minute to calm my nerves as I looked around and realized where I was. It was a rooftop restaurant surrounded by trees with beautiful flowers and string lights. My head was so wrapped up in Dorian that I hardly noticed as I ordered at the bar near the entrance. Now it helped me feel more at ease, I was at a resort and my friends were there. It’s not about him, but I couldn’t help going back to what he told me.
Luz left? She’s gone. Now I knew I wasn’t seeing things and they had been arguing earlier. There was more to the story; it took me back to the last time I saw him before he started dating her and how sad I was when I knew we were over for good. What I didn’t understand was how he jumped from me to her so easily. Our relationship had been a lot of staying up late on the phone talking, and we even watched movies while we were on the phone when we couldn’t see each other. So, I guess I wasn’t over the fact that him letting me go was easy after all the good and fun times we had together and things I shared with him that I didn’t share with other people.
I looked at my phone and noticed I had a missed call and a text from JJ. The text said that Savannah was throwing up and didn’t want to come down, so she stayed with her and ordered room service.
Sighing, I ordered another drink before ordering food to go because I didn’t want to be alone there. It was getting busy too and someone started playing the piano as I got my drink.
“I’ll have whatever she’s having.” His voice sent chills all over my body.
I froze with my drink in hand when he sat next to me. Great, here we go again, I thought as I took a long drink before looking over at him.
He was smirking, “Rough day?
Shaking my head, I put the glass down, “What do you want Dorian?” He realized that I wasn’t in a joking mood and how could I be? He shook his head and looked around the restaurant.
“I’m sorry, I know that this might not be the place or time, but I’m sorry. Everything happened so fast, and Luz was more like a friend than anything else.”
I rolled my eyes at him, “You can say that, but why would you be in a serious relationship? Why so shortly after us? Why her?” As much as I wanted to let it go, it was what still bothered me and now it felt like an old wound was being reopened with a dull knife.
He suddenly looked uncomfortable, and I could tell he didn’t really want to talk about it, but I pushed anyway. If he really wanted to talk, now was the time.
The bartender brought his drink right on cue. My heart raced as I watched him take a drink and clear his throat before he spoke.
The noise from the people talking around the restaurant and the piano playing was drowned out by Dorian.
“It’s not that it was about her; she just happened to be at the right place, at the right time.” He shrugged, “She turned out to be a great friend; she’s a good person. I’m sure you know that.” I nodded because up until they had started dating, she had been a good friend to me. He continued, “You were right then; I wasn’t ready to be with you because I was scared that I could’ve messed it up. Fuck, the irony is not lost on me, ok? I knew that being in a relationship with someone else wasn’t the solution, but I also knew she had feelings for me when we started to develop a friendship, so it was easy.”
In my mind, I was going back to the last time we were together and how broken I felt after. How do you think about the person you’ve loved the most without it ripping your heart out? Easy, you don’t.
“You have no idea how bad it was for me.” It was hard to fight back the tears, but I couldn’t let my voice break. “So now what? I don’t know what you expect of me Dorian, but you’ve hurt me and it took a lot for me to get past it. We haven’t spoken since that day and then you were dating a friend. Now she left you and you’re here trying to what?” My voice sounded surprisingly calm, but that was not how I felt.
There was a haunted look in his eyes that I don’t remember seeing before. At first, he came off confident as he’s always been, but now, he didn’t seem too sure of himself. He seemed stiff and serious.
He reached over and touched my hand on the bar, his hand warming mine. I watched him cover it with his and that did something to me. How could he have such an effect on me after all this time?
I wondered if he could hear my heartbeat because I was sure I could. There were tears in my eyes again and I couldn’t move or look at him because I was sure there was no way I could hold them back anymore.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered close to my ear as he leaned in closer, “I was an asshole, and I don’t deserve you, but I hope one day you can forgive me and maybe I can have the opportunity to make it all up to you?” He had taken cash out at some point and left it on the bar before he kissed me on the cheek and squeezed my hand lightly and left without saying anything else or waiting for a response. He didn’t make me look at him either, but I turned to watch him leave as he stepped away. His back was to me, but the tears were now running down my face. The soft music played, and people were too busy in their conversations to notice anything.
The doors shut behind him and I’m left with mixed emotions. Finally, wiping my eyes, I leave to go back to my room.
JJ was passed out on the couch when I got back to the suite. Savannah was also asleep in her room. She had texted me that she was going to lie down and if she didn’t respond, she’d see me tomorrow.
Quietly I went to my room and bawled my eyes out. I had drinks and spoke to Dorian so my feelings were all over the place.
What was I supposed to do with that? Clearly, I still cared about him, but it doesn’t mean I could forget what happened in the past. That still stung every time I thought of it. At the same time, memories of our past together came back to me; those were the ones I didn’t like to think about.
The first date we ever went on was one of the best dates I had. We took an uber to a restaurant he had made reservations for.
“You like sushi?” He had asked me and was surprised for some reason when I told him it was one of my favorites. We chatted and laughed about our families and our similarities growing up.
He grinned and took my hand in his, “You lived about forty minutes from me this whole time.
I nodded, smiling up at him, “We went to different school districts though, so how would I run into you?” We didn’t meet until one day we came across each other on social media and we just started talking; he asked me out and I said yes.
We took another Uber to downtown LA and bar hopped around the area. We danced and honestly, it was the most fun I’d ever had on a date. It was simple and he was such a gentleman.