‘Let’s assume it wasn’t that one.’
She turns back to the mirror. ‘Did you have a nice chat?’
‘About the cream?’ I ask.
‘Of course not! I meant a chat with Alex. You haven’t seen him for a while, have you?’
‘I saw him at his parents’ party last night.’
‘Not really,’ she says. ‘There were far too many people there for you to talk properly.’
‘I talked as much as I wanted to. I haven’t seen him for years, which suits me fine.’
I bend to pick up a tube of mascara. ‘I hope this is waterproof. You’re going to need it. Elaine told me she and Robert have written their own vows.’
‘I know. I helped her,’ says Mum smugly. ‘And of course I’m not going to cry. But I was talking about Alex. You and he used to be such friends.’
‘No, we didn’t. We barely knew each other.’
‘Elaine says you went out a couple of times,’ she says, watching me closely.
I’m not sure how to answer this. Alex and I agreed not to tell anyone about that until the New Year’s Eve party. And I didn’t go to the party. I broke up with him by text. It’s yet another demonstration of his complete lack of trustworthiness.
I meet Mum’s eyes in the mirror. ‘Maybe we did. It’s all so long ago. But I haven’t spoken to him in years. We’re very different people.’ And without waiting for an answer, I leave the room.
I hear the back door slam and go downstairs to find Dad in the kitchen, looking flushed.
He starts when he sees me. ‘I didn’t think you’d be up yet.’
‘It was a little difficult to sleep through Mum yelling for you at the top of her voice,’ I tell him.
He takes off his coat. ‘Does she know I’ve been out?’
‘Of course, I know!’ Mum is standing in the doorway, her hair swept up into what looks suspiciously like a beehive.
Dad gives her a sheepish smile. ‘Hello, love. You look very nice.’
‘Where have you been?’ she demands. ‘I needed someone to fetch the cream, and as usual you were nowhere to be found. I had to send Annie instead.’
She sniffs. ‘I knew it! You’ve been out drinking. And now you’ll be too drunk to go to the wedding.’
‘I’ve had two pints,’ he tells her. ‘And the wedding isn’t for another couple of hours. You don’t seriously think I’d get drunk on the morning of my best friend’s wedding?’
Her eyes narrow. ‘And was Robert with you?’
He drops two slices of bread into the toaster. ‘As a matter of fact, he was. I was helping him to steady his nerves.’
‘Did you give him a talk about the facts of life?’ I ask.
Mum frowns. ‘Don’t be so coarse, Annie!’ After a moment’s thought, she adds, ‘If he doesn’t know them after twenty-five years of marriage, he never will. Where do you think Alex and Caitlin came from?’
‘I always imagined the stork brought them,’ I say.
I quickly make my escape, but not before Mum has snatched the bread from the toaster. ‘This won’t soak up the alcohol, Graham! I’ll cook you a proper breakfast. Hopefully, you’ll be able to walk down the aisle in a straight line.’
I slip upstairs, smiling to myself. Despite everything, it’s nice to be home. My parents don’t change, but I wouldn’t really want them to. However infuriating they can be at times, I love them both dearly. Perhaps Christmas won’t be so bad after all.
Chapter Eighteen