The belly stone now began to slowly twist into something else altogether. “Yeah?”
“We need some more money to make this halfway house payment,” Tara said. “Jeremy and I already pitched in. The rest is due today.”
My heart started racing, a sure indicator that a heated conversation lay ahead of us. I looked around the office. There were too many ears in the hallway for me to finish this conversation here. I turned the knob of Damian’s office, double checked that it was still empty, and slipped inside.
The lingering scent of his cologne instantly soothed me. It was a warm hug as I waded through the cold, unpleasant waters of this conversation. I drew a fortifying breath and continued.
“So how much are we talking?”
“Five hundred.”
I swore under my breath. “Tara.”
“Jessa,” she retorted.
“Shit bricks. How much does this place cost?” I demanded.
“We had to pay first and last month’s fees,” she hissed. “You’d think you’d be willing to pay any price for your mother’s health, though.”
“It’s not that,” I told her. “I’m tapped out, Tara. I just sent you two hundred a week ago.”
“Right, which was for your regular portion of her living expenses,” Tara said. “This is something else. Rehab let her go early, and the halfway house had roaches. You think I wanted this to happen?”
“N-no, I just—” I stammered, unable to quickly and articulately express how insane this was. “Tara, I don’t have it.”
“How can you not have it?” she demanded. “You make the most of anyone in this family. What the fuck you spending your money on?”
“I live in one of the most expensive cities in the United States,” I shouted. “My rent is more than your entire salary. What do you want to hear, Tara? I pay rent, credit card bills, class fees. Not to mention materials for the course. Sometimes I like to eat, too. And that’s on top of paying for Mom’s rehab and everything else.”
“Oh, boo-hoo. Cut the crap, Jessa,” Tara shot back. “Your little sob story about cost-of-living expenses isn’t gonna work on me. You think all that’s expensive, try having three kids. Besides, I know how much you make.”
“Excuse me?”
“Jeremy told me what you make. You’re making six figures out there and can’t even spare five hundred for the woman who gave you life? You’re fucking pathetic.”
Emotion tightened my throat, and I squeezed my eyes shut. This wasn’t right. But I didn’t know how to make it right. “Don’t say that, Tara. You’re being a bitch.”
“I’m the bitch?” Her raucous laughter sent anxiety sparking under my skin. “Yeah, I guess keeping our mother alive qualifies me as a bitch.”
“Don’t be such a goddamn martyr,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “I pay my dues for that woman. You can do what you want, but in the meantime, I need to wait until my next mother-cluckin’ paycheck.”
“Oh, your next paycheck, huh?” Tara’s laughter this time dripped with sarcasm. “I sure wish I could tell my kids to just wait to eat until the next paycheck. Wouldn’t that be so much easier? You’re fucking swimming in cash, Jessa, and you have the balls to tell me to wait? Get a fucking clue, you self-centered brat. No wonder Mom started using drugs when it was just you two left in the house. I wouldn’t have been able to put up with this shit either.”
The line went dead, and I stared at the phone through a veil of tears. I turned around and gasped. Damian stood in the doorway, concern etched into his features.
“Is everything okay, Jessa?” he asked.
Something about his broad shoulders, the familiar lines of his face, or the way he was looking at me like he wanted to hug me landed the final blow to my self-control. Whatever it was, the tears broke through the barrier. I covered my face with my hands.
“It’s fine,” I said, my chest hitching with a sob.
Damian’s arms were around me, wrapping me in his thick and deliciously warm embrace. I melted into him without even thinking about it, grabbing my own wrist behind his back and nestling into the most perfect and secure spot against his chest. The tears instantly vanished, but I had no intention of moving. Ever.
“Do you want to talk about it?” His deep voice rumbled closer to my ear than it ever had before. Goosebumps flared over my entire body, head to toe. He had to notice.
I shook my head. And then I thought better of it and nodded.
His body shook with laughter. “So, that’s a yes and a no?”