“No, but he hasn’t exactly jumped on the opportunity to hire me as his nanny. It’s probably because I’m such a mess.”
“You’re not a mess.” When she starts to object, I hold up a finger to stop her. “You are not a mess. You’re grieving, and that is messy. You need to be kinder to yourself.”
“I want my old life back.”
“I know, sweetheart. I know.”
“Sorry to be a drag.”
“You’re fine, but will you put that thing out and come back inside with me? I’m freezing.”
She takes another deep drag off the cigarette and then squashes the butt under her sneaker.
I’m pleased when she bends to pick up the butt and puts it in the trash before following me inside.
“Hey, Iris?”
“Yes?”
“You’re pretty cool for an old person.”
I elbow her. “Watch your mouth, kid.”
“No, really. Thanks.”
“Any time.”
“So, is Gage big everywhere?”
“Wynter!”
“Just tell me. You know you want to.”
“I donotwant to.”
“Is that because he’s huge and hung?”
I want to expire on the spot. She’s outrageous.
“He is, isn’t he? I knew he would be. He’s got those big hands and feet. That’s usually a good sign.”
“How do you know these things? Are you even twenty yet?”
“I’m twenty-one, and I know things.”
I give her a gentle push toward her seat and return to mine next to Gage.
“Everything all right?” he asks.
“It is now. Back to business as usual with Wynter.”
“Is that why your face is red?”
“That, and it’s freezing outside.” I take a sip of the margarita that’s waiting for me and try to shake off the melancholy that came with hearing Wynter say she wants her old life back. Two weeks ago, I would’ve said the same, but now everything’s changed, including my feelings for my late husband.
Under the table, I reach over to wrap my hand around Gage’s, thankful for him and this thing between us that’s sustained me during this difficult time.
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