“Do they hurt?”
“No.”
“Did it hurt when they did it?”
“A little. It wasn’t bad, though.” I take a sip of the coffee and hand it back to him. “Thanks.”
“You want some company in there?”
“Sure.”
When he steps into the shower and puts his arms around me from behind, I’m reminded of the last shower we took together in Florida. That already seems like a long time ago. Nothing about last night or this morning is sexual. It’s all about comfort, which I need more than anything while I wait to hear if a bomb is about to detonate in my cobbled-together single mom/widow life.
I’ve gotten used to that life. I know what’s expected of me every day. I’ve learned to cope with being the sole source of parenting for my kids and know how to meet their many needs. That was the most daunting part at first, being responsible for three little beings on my own. But I’ve never been completely on my own with my parents nearby and a strong network of friends who were more than willing to help where they could.
I can handle all that, but could I handle a cancer battle on top of it? I just don’t know. I suppose, like widowhood, I’d have no choice but to step up to the moment, but I really, really,reallyhope I don’t have to.
“How’re you feeling this morning?”
“Unsettled, terrified, stressed. Other than that, fine.”
I can feel his lips curve into a smile against my neck. “You’re the toughest person I know, Iris. If anyone can get through whatever is coming, you can.”
“I wish I felt so certain.”
“Whenever you’re not sure, just ask me. I’ll remind you that you can handle anything that comes your way.”
“You’re really in for the long haul here?”
“If you’ll have me.”
I squeeze the hand he’s rested on my belly. “I’ll have you.”
“Mom! It’s time to get up!” Tyler comes into the bathroom and skids to a stop when he sees us in the shower.
“Shit,” Gage mutters.
“Hurry up,” Tyler says as he turns to leave the room, probably to go poke out his mind’s eye.
“At least we weren’t having sex,” I say to Gage, who laughs.
“Is he going to be upset?”
“I don’t think so. They’re used to having you around by now, but I suppose it’s time we talk to them about you moving in and see how they feel about it. You still want to do that, right?”
“Very much so.”
“All right, then. Let’s take it to the kids.”
28
GAGE
I’m nervous about what the kids will say, especially now that Tyler has caught us in the shower. When I’m dressed, I go to find him in his room. He’s dressed for school and sitting on the floor among some of his favorite trucks and cars.
“Hey, pal, you ready for some breakfast?”
He nods but doesn’t look at me. I squat down to his level. “I want you to know that I love your mom very much, and I love you and your sisters, too.” I thought about what I should say to him and decided that was the most important thing.